A Little Lady's Lessons

the boy I love...

2012-02-17T19:21:00.001-05:00

...the man I love

I pray for you "that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God." ~ Ephesians 3:14-19 ESV

I love you.

The Pain that Love Will Choose

2012-02-11T21:07:00.000-05:00

In the rush of changed plans than have come to Caleb and me, I've thought through what our decision to marry in March before his year of deployment will mean. We may have less than two weeks together, and both know that the separation will probably be harder because of being married, yet don't want it any other way. Tennyson's well-known line of poetry has been coming to mind:

"I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all."

A year's absence is not a complete "lost" (though I can't imagine any woman has watched her boy leave her side for a war zone and not had the "What if..." thought cross her mind) but it is a loss nonetheless - it is the loss of a year together, a loss of sharing that year's sweet spring, that year's long-dayed summer, that year's crisp autumn, a loss of 365 suppertimes, read alouds on the couch and washing dishes elbow to elbow, a loss of 260 "Welcome home" hugs and kisses after a day's work. And the pain of all that loss could be lessened by staying outside the love - by not weaving our lives into another's so we cannot be hurt by a separation. But this is not why God gave us hearts - to be only kept safe. Our hearts were given to reflect God's heart and to fellowship with Him. When I open my heart to love another human being - not in an idolatrous way, but in a devoted and sacrificial way - that love, desire for their welfare and delight in their presence, that connection of my good with theirs - opens a million avenues for joy and pain that I cannot have apart from love. And in each of those avenues, Jesus wants to walk with me and show me more of His heart. He wants to reveal His incredible grace in love's joys and His tender mercy in love's pain. It is because I want to experience that tenderness of the Lord that I would choose the pains of love rather than the ease of not caring. I want to love, lose, mourn and be comforted in His presence - rather than to withdraw to myself and keep my own comfort. I want to see Him do through me what I cannot do on my own.

After Caleb's first deployment, when I started to know and care for him more, I thought how glad I was that I hadn't known him during the former deployment until he came back - because of how much harder it would have been to care. As it was, I passed many weeks and months without a thought or concern about his welfare while he was gone. I had not loved him - or even known him. And when I said those words later, after I thought I loved him, I did not love him still - I loved myself, and was only glad to spare myself the pain. Now I can say that (though I do not wish to change anything about God's perfect plan for our lives) I would gladly have gone through that deployment too, knowing and caring about him, giving to God a hundred times my anguish for his safety, writing to him and encouraging him, and allowing him to bear the burden of my own concerns. Why? I love him. I want our lives woven together, even if the strands of my life must now touch strands of his life that hurt, and his mine - and he has loved me in the same way.

Yes, I'm also idealistic and proud and want to be a hero (can I deny it? I'm just stinkin' proud of my soldier and being his support as he goes out to serve) but I write here what I want to be most of all true about the life of love I am entering into with a man who will not always be here. And I think this vision of experiencing God through sacrifice should be true of other loving relationships besides marriage that exist for God's glory.

"No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.

(1 John 4:12 ESV)

All Things Well

2012-01-31T18:15:00.000-05:00

"All the way my Savior leads me, what have I to ask beside?

Can I doubt His tender mercy, who through life has been my guide?

Heavenly peace, divinest comfort, here by faith in Him to dwell

For I know whate'er befall me, Jesus doeth all things well

For I know whate'er befall me, Jesus doeth all things well."

The rocking chair and company in the nursery where I was working were comfortable. Three-year old Lydia snuggled in my lap, clasping her baby doll Charlotte and I chatted with Megan about my May wedding plans in between spurts of amending toddler situations. The phone in my pocket rang, and I smiled, happy to be getting a call from Caleb
"Hello!"
The words that followed his greeting dissolved a smile"....Captain Mosely called and said I have orders cut for deployment with the 319th, probably in March. I wanted to tell you before I told anyone else."
I felt pale, "Can you say that again?" Tears began to fall. He explained further, we would talk more later.
"...God is in control."
"Yes...He is."
"I love you."
I choked out an "I love you" in return, and that was that.

Megan's sympathy was a balm, as was Lydia, still sitting on my lap, ignorant of why my face was so wet. The wedding plans for May that had been dancing in my head stopped and stood still, looking at me as if to say, 'Why did the music stop?'. My only answer was, that they would just have to lie down and take a long nap for now. God had decided that he wanted it more quiet. Maybe He wanted to talk to me.

Walking outside later, I thought of these words,

"Savior, like a shepherd, lead us
Much we need Thy tender care
In Thy pleasant pastures feed us
For our use Thy folds prepare.
Blessed Jesus, blessed Jesus
Thou hast bought us, Thine we are
Blessed Jesus, blessed Jesus
Thou hast bought us Thine we are."

I can think of nothing that I want more than to be shepherded by Jesus Christ's good hand in the security of being His.

To Him I may commit every grief over the disappointment of delaying our dreams.
To Him I will submit as the Ruler of kings, in whose hand lies every decision affecting our lives - decisions that seems to rest in the power of our nation's leaders, but are an illusion beneath His sovereign right.
To Him I can turn to satisfy and comfort my heart - for He is its Maker and Redeemer.
To Him I entrust my anxieties for the life of the man I love, when he must go into the midst of a people who do not love his life, for the Lord has counted his every hour and will not let even one be stolen from the span He has allotted.
To Him I credit all the blessings I have and all the love that flows to me in the severity of discipline intended to train me for holiness.

I love our Jesus, love to know that He is working all things for our good, and that His loving friendship is with us forever. We never will have to bid Him farewell, but only anticipate a morning when we will see Him face to face.

"Commit whatever grieves Thee into the gracious hands

Of Him who never leaves Thee

Whom earth and heav'n commands

Who points the clouds their courses

Whom winds and waves obey

He will direct Thy footsteps and find for Thee a way."

Am I making the sudden halt to wedding plans, a military deployment, disappointed lovers - all a matter bigger than it is? Perhaps. It happens to a lot of people. Life goes on when you're done crying over the uniformed back disappearing behind the airport check-in. And God has work for us to do wherever He places us. But I would not miss an opportunity to give Jesus glory when He gives me tears. I love to proclaim, "Yes, this hurts and I believe that our loving God planned it knowing that it would hurt - and I know that in it all He is good and I do not question His love." When He gives me an opportunity to declare Him true to His Word, true to His love and to me, even by means of sorrow and pain, I can only love Him all the more for it. It is a chance for us to see His glory, and is not His glory our highest joy?

If you have read this, pray that the Lord would keep this confidence in us to the end.

Little Devils in the Gardens

2012-01-27T17:56:00.000-05:00

Photo Credit

While walking outside today, I passed a small garden in which was displayed a garden angel - that is a rather provocatively dressed, winged young female, molded of cement looking over the frost-withered plants with a demure innocence. I use the word 'angel' because that is what I knew its designer would call it, and what came to my mind when I saw it. But as I continued walking I thought again of how different such angels are from the angel that are. I also considered that the common images which much of western culture would identify as 'angels' and 'devils' are in some respects representative of their opposites.

Think of the typical image of an angel - white clad, smiling female - usually looking ecstatic or mysterious, satisfied and rather huggable. Now think of the typical image of a devil - fierce, fiery, armed - ready to stab you, and rather horrible. These images, though based on shreds of truth, are far from accurate. Granted, angels are white and beautifully bright, but they are also referred to as flames of fire (Heb. 1:7) and are sometimes armed and rather fiercesome (Numbers 22:23). In Scripture, whenever a human being saw an angel, terror usually ensued. On the other hand, the devil often manifests himself to people in ways that are alluring, winsome and promising pleasure (Gen. 3). In Scripture, when a human being had an encounter with Satan or a devil, they were not usually frightened, but often drawn to listen to the one who "disguises himself as an angel of light" (2 Cor. 11:14). So that cement molded image of a provocatively dressed, winged young female might be just as aptly named a "garden devil" as a "garden angel". Besides being more petrifying than provocative, and more awesome than alluring, angels are also messengers. They don't hang around pretty places looking sweet - they are like the most of earnest of hound dogs, looking upon the face of God with keen eyes waiting for orders (Matt. 18:10), and zealously prompt and accurate in fulfilling them (Matt. 28:7, Luke 1:19). The devil is the one who hangs out in gardens (Gen. 3, Job 1:7)

All that to say, these realities made me realize how the inventions of man's hands, set before our eyes, despite their artistic beauty or material quality, also have subtle power to deceive our minds about the truth of how things are. It is not only pictures of little angels and devils, but images that the world begs to set before me on every side, that can glaze my perception of the truth. It happens without my knowing it, unless I have a treasury, a cleanser, an armory which will set me right after my vision has unknowingly blurred by walking through a day in the world with open eyes. "Sanctify them, by the truth. Your word is truth." Jesus prayed for His people (John 17:17). So, again, all that to say (funny how it all comes back to this), I need to keep reading my Bible - but not only reading, setting it up against all that enters my eyes and heart and fortifying a weak heart with its truth.

How We Came to be Engaged

2012-01-12T21:39:00.000-05:00

Caleb and I were both members of Grace Baptist Church inCarlisle (my family joined in 2008, after Caleb had been there), but several years passedbefore we met each other – due to one or the other of us being away at collegeor Caleb’s being deployed to Iraq…and also due to my studious avoidance ofCaleb when I first learned about him - the grandson of one of my favorite olderladies in church whom I had adopted as my surrogate grandmother. Of courseeveryone knows what grandmas like to do, and I decided that there was no waythat I was going to be set up with that grandson of hers! But while Caleb wasbusy with army and school doings, I continued to enjoy a growing friendshipwith Grandma– despite those irksome, unwearying references to that eldestgrandson. Caleb began to hear similar references to me from her and others andwas about as uncomfortable as I was with the hints. But little words fromothers (like Daddy, who offhandedly mentioned one Sunday afternoon “I likeCaleb Bohon”) and all the stories from Grandma began to rub off on me. Calebdid sound like a person I wouldn’t mind getting to know – he liked books,studied Latin, was a devoted Christian and soldier, and even liked flowers.Well, for goodness sake, I might as well be friendly to him the next time he ishome – if Grandma thought we could be friends and he lived with them when home,there was no sense in avoiding him. I came to that conclusion while Caleb wasin Iraq.

Several months later, Caleb washome on leave and at church on a Sunday morning in May. I was hoping I couldmeet him and get this being friends thing on the proper footing. He came withhis grandma and a cousin into our Sunday School class and I noticed himhastening to get a chair for his grandma to put her foot on – handsome is ashandsome does, and I thought he was pretty handsome right about then. And thenGrandma introduced us to each other before the service. I was determined to befriendly for the first time – Caleb was still determined not to be set up sodidn’t say much. My first impression was that he had an amazing handshake, butwas rather a misanthrop – hardly spoke a word to me when I asked about hislibrary! But the next day, he sent me a friend request on Facebook and told mea bit more about his library and that I was free to borrow (which in retrospectis amusing, since I never took a book from his library till we were engaged andI was given the task of thinning it out in preparation for moving).

So we were friends on Facebook and Caleb returned to Iraq.We didn’t communicate until Caleb’s birthday in September. It happened onFacebook – I posted a happy birthday wish to my dad (who shares a birthday withCaleb) and Grandma commented on it that Caleb (whom she did not refer to byname) was now 25 and was studying Latin on his birthday. Since it is customaryfor everyone’s Facebook friends to post greetings to them on their birthday, Idecided to wish Caleb a happy birthday - in Latin. I was pleasantly surprisedthat he responded quite warmly and graciously – in Latin – and ran to thebasement to dig out my Latin-English dictionary. Not long after that, Caleb wason his way home from Iraq, and I found myself surprisingly excited at theprospect. The Sunday after he arrived home, he came to church with hisgrandparents. I remember seeing themwalking down the hall in church towards us and many people stopping to giveCaleb greetings. I busied myself with my errand of putting several items in thechurch mail cubbyholes, wishing I could make contact with this stranger-friend,but trying to mind my own business. As the group of people passed behind me, Iwas again pleasantly surprised to see out of the corner of my eye the familiarfigure of a young man wearing a blue gray suit and a close crew cut standingsilently facing me at the end of the mailboxes. I turned toward him briefly andsaid “Welcome back” before returning to my mail posting. He took a step towardsme, and with a sudden, “Salve`”, he walked on by, leaving me mildly amused andcurious what that Latin word meant. We had some brief contacts online, but myparents sought to help me keep these brief. I was torn between wanting to justbe friends and not have to treat him as a potential suitor to be handled withcaution, and realizing that for two in our situation, this might not bepossible. One morning after church, I was nearly blown over by Caleb walkingdirectly up to me and greeting me, “Hi Alyssa. How are you doing?” and then, tomy dismay, walking beside me out of the church sanctuary, talking as wewalked. “Everyone is looking at us, everyone is looking at us” is all I could think inside – too many peoplewanted us to get together, and how smug they must feel observing us andsmirking and nodding to themselves. Well, let them look – that’s how it has tobe in a church family. These brief contacts in church continued, facilitated attimes by Grandma, and I attended church with baited breath these days,wondering if he would approach to talk to me or if we would be otherwiseencountering each other. After I mentioned once on Facebook missing my brotherwith his Greek New Testament beside me in church, Caleb gave me a Greek NewTestament that had belonged to his dad. How I treasured that book! Septemberwas passing into October, and when the fall semester was over, Caleb would bereturning to Virginia to resume his college studies on campus at Patrick HenryCollege. I don’t know how far our friendship would have gone if it hadn’t beenfor a new intervention of providence to bring us closer together. Daddy was on staff at church during thattime, and during the weekly meeting with the pastors in which they werediscussing people to visit/encourage, Daddy mentioned Caleb who was brieflyhere between deployment and school – a young man who might appreciate adiscipling relationship during this window of time. Pastor David’s reply was“Why don’t you do that, John?”
Caleb wasagreeable to the proposal. Although Daddy had an office at church, they decidedto meet at our home for their weekly book study, timing it to precede thecollege student Bible study at our home so that Caleb could attend that also.The first week they were to meet on Thursday evening at 6:45, Caleb’sgrandparents, whom he lived with, were away in Canada and he was home byhimself. I thought that it would be rather silly to invite a single young manwho was home alone to our house immediately aftersupper, and not invite him to join us for our meal, so I suggested this to myparents and Caleb was invited. During this time, I was the only child at homewith my parents, and missing my brothers very much, so I was especially glad tohave Caleb with us. The next week,Caleb’s grandparents were home again, but the precedent had been set andeveryone liked it – he came for supper again, and then the book study in thebasement with Daddy, and then the college student Bible study in our livingroom. A few times, another college student came, but most of the 8pm Biblestudies ended up being just us four – Daddy, Mother, Caleb and me. They werewonderful studies – Tim Keller’s studies in Genesis. I was learning andthinking about a lot, and also learning to appreciate Caleb as someone whocared about God’s word as deeply as I did. It almost seems so clear and almostamusing to look back on it now – how cleverly we were ‘set up’ by the hands ofprovidence – but much was unclear then. Caleb and I were both interested in oneanother but unsure of where our undefined friendship would lead. I thoughtabout Caleb distractedly day in and day out. When we studied the passage inGenesis about Abraham offering up Isaac, and discussed idols that God calls usto lay down for him, Caleb asked, “How do you know if something has become anidol?” and I felt cut to the heart to hear those words coming from my ownidol’s mouth, but I do remember discussing it together, quoting Augustine’s “Heloves Thee too little who loves anything together with Thee which he loves notfor Thy sake”. The next time I saw Caleb in church on Sunday, he was keeping adistance from me that I could not understand but pained me deeply – his everylittle look and word and attention had become a solace, a hope to me, and theywere removed without explanation – well, not altogether without. I wondered ifhe had been idolizing our friendship as I had done, and decided that I wouldfollow his silent lead, even if it hurt, and wait to see what the outcome wouldbe. That afternoon, I came upon aquotation in Spurgeon’s sermons that I felt I just had to share with Caleb, tolet him know that I was also willing to put God before our relationship – “Letnothing hide from our hearts even a single beam of the glorious sun ofrighteousness”. I didn’t want to be forward about it, but just to make sure he had the quote in his hands, so I wroteit on an unassuming scrap of paper and left it on the bench where I sat forchoir practice – the same bench where he would sit for the service. Lookingback, I think it was more distracting to him than helpful at the time to get amysterious note, but I’m still glad that I shared it with him. The next day,Caleb posted a note on Facebook about giving up anything for Jesus – anything – and the thought came back tome of giving him up and I spent much of that day crying, and also praying forCaleb. The next Wednesday in church, Caleb continued to not look at me – I rememberwalking past him and seeing him look the other way – I almost sobbed aloud, butsomehow kept it all inside as I smiled and talked with the other ladies goingto pray. I saw Caleb talk to Daddy and found out from Mother that he was askingto talk to him soon before the Thursday night study. Oh why? He is going to say he cannot come anymore…or, I don’t know…I remember having a good time of talking and then praying with Mother sometimeduring that week, and also being on pins and needles all day on Thursday,seeking to trust God who would make “the clouds you so much dread, big withmercy, break in blessing on your head”. The time of Caleb’s meeting with Daddyat the office before supper came, and I sat in my room and read psalms and WilliamCowper’s poems, and prayed and wrote in my journal. The phone rang – Mothertold me, “They’re coming home for supper.” I was so pleased, relieved. Iremember reading from Psalm 116 as I waited: “Preserve me, O God, for in you Itake refuge. I say to the LORD, ‘You are my Lord; I have no good apart from you– “ and they were arriving; I read one more verse – “as for the saints in theland, they are the excellent ones, in whom is all my delight” and I went to getthe door. Caleb came in as if everything was normal, and we all had a very nicesupper and study together as usual. I went to sleep that night, relieved thatall was well and there had been nothing to worry about. While I was still inbed that cold November morning, there was a knock at my door and Mother and Daddyboth came in to talk to me. Now what wasthis? Something about Caleb, I wonder. It was indeed – news that in Caleb’sconversation with Daddy, he had asked permission to court me !!! and that Daddy had promised an answer in a week’stime. (They had waited till morning to tell me so that I would sleep that night– how kind of them!) It was what I had wanted to happen – what no other youngman had ever done on my behalf, but what I thought was the only proper way togo about a relationship. That dear boy. As soon as Mother and Daddy left, Ifell to the floor and praised the Lord. But I did have to think and pray aboutit, and not be rash. So I thought, I prayed, and knew that I wanted to say Yes!if Daddy and Mother’s answer was the same. I told Daddy that I did not want to see an unanswered man on Sunday andhe told Caleb our answer between Sunday School and church – I hope that helpedhim to be more focused during the service! I was not at Sunday School because(for some strange reason) I felt suddenly very ill that morning, but revived intime to go to church. I was so excited to see Caleb and be allowed to reallylook at him and smile at him with a confirmed understanding of our mutualfriendship – no more wonderings, stolen glances, hiding of feelings – butface-to-face friends. We still hardlyknew each other, it seems looking back now, there was so much getting-to-knowto do, and so much commonality to happily discover. The Thursday nightsexpanded into Thursday afternoon walks before dinner and reading Precious Remedies together. On our firstwalk together, Caleb started laying out his thoughts on boundaries – I wassurprised – I had scarcely thought of holding hands with or even less kissingthis person whom I was just so happy to talk to and be friends with. But he waswise to do so at this very point, so that we could decide our physicalboundaries before the inevitable growth of affection would make it harder tolay them down as strictly as we did: he would not be in a building with mealone, would not hug me except when leaving for or returning from longabsences, would not hold my hand or put his arm around me unless we came to thepoint of being engaged, would not kiss me unless we came to marriage…thesedecisions were very helpful guides as our relationship progressed.

After about two months of happy courtship and Christmasholiday together, Caleb returned to college. We sent email back and forthdaily, and I got to see him about once a month if he came home after army drillor had break. We talked about everything it seemed over emails. Summer came andCaleb was still on campus working in Virginia, but I was able to visit him fora week, staying with a lovely family from his church. I remember Caleb comingto see me at their home after work in the evenings. After working on ourrespective homework for summer classes, we would walk out in the meltingly hotJune evenings, quoting Bible memory to each other - John 16 and Psalm 127. InJune, we switched from regular email correspondence to phone calls and Calebdecided that these nightly phone calls should have regular prayer and Biblereading together – a decision that I deeply value and that we have so farmaintained. In October Caleb took me to Canada along with his cousin Elizabethto attend his cousin Sarah’s wedding. Itwas the most beautiful weekend for the wedding and the trip….I rememberarriving at his aunt and uncle’s little home in the country and loving it all,the young cousins inviting me to jump on the trampoline with them, the horsefarm across the lane, the glorious Indian summer with its sunsets and romps throughthe tall grass and farm lanes with Caleb and the cousins, sleeping in the popupcamper in the yard with Abby, watching the sunrise with Caleb and one of thecats on our last morning there. By the time we headed home, I was decidedly inlove with Caleb. (I didn’t know at the time that he asked my father forpermission to propose to me before we left on that trip and was told to wait.)

Engagement

In November, a bomb dropped. The end of daylight savingstime brought the dreaded advent of dark evenings, but that was not as sad asthe other darkness that came to us that first Sunday of November. Caleb was homewith us after church on Sunday evening – he had come in late from drill just intime to join us for communion after the service, which was a comfort to me. Afterchurch, he had to respond to a phone call from his captain and walked into theliving room, where I overheard him saying, “Is that January or March?...” and Iknew that the dreaded happening was happening – he was being deployed. He cameback to the dining room where I was sitting and said, “Do you want me tell you?-“– “No” I said…I already knew. He could ask for a replacement but there waslittle chance of anyone wanting to replace him. Our boundaries were hard tokeep about then – I wanted to hold onto him and never let go. The nights afterthat were dreadful and sparse in rest. We had a few more precious days togetherwith him home before he had to leave…he came the next day to the church where Iwas watching the little children outside and gave me a dozen roses to mark oursoon-to-be year of courtship…after he left they became the cheering adornmentof my sick room where I spent much of the next month fighting illness andsadness at once. The Lord enabled me to see the light of his love in all thatHe was doing in our lives and I was able to “trust Him wholly all for us to do”even though I was still not well. Caleb hadasked me, in light of his coming deployment, to accompany him to drill thefirst weekend of December, which was a special family weekend. I was unsure ifI would be well enough to go, but made plans to stay with dear friends in thearea and tried hard to get better! Caleb wanted me to meet good friends of hiswho would be at the drill also. He would come home on Friday night and we wouldleave together on Saturday morning. That Friday night, he arrived around 8 andsaid he wanted to talk to my dad (his customary practice when home) but before eating.That gave me plenty of time to prepare his dinner – they talked longer thanusual. I had it all nearly ready, including candles and cookies before theycame out of Daddy’s study. The candles being lit and Caleb and I praying beforehe ate, he reached into his suit pocket and pulled out a thick folded stack ofpaper –

“I have a letter for you to read”

“Right now – while you eat?” – “Yes.”I was excited, and became more so as I read, starting to wish that we were morealone than we were with my parents in the next room. There was only one placethis letter could be leading. He was telling me that he wanted me in his life –I knew that, but, well, he wouldn’t say it like that unless he was going to ask to marry me, and then I turned thepage over and read, “I love you” – which he had decided to never say to meunless he asked me to marry him, and then the question came – from the letterand from his lips, “Will you marry me?”

“ah-I– I sure will!!” I managed to stammer out. (So much forplanning what I was going to say). And then there came out of the suit pocket alittle box with a beautiful ring inside, which he put on my finger, and then Isquealed and ran to my mother in the next room. And then I realized that Caleband I could hold hands (and not pull away as we had while romping with thelittle cousins in Canada who were ever for holding our hands and we had bothunconsciously reached for one another’s hands when one had run from between us).The next morning, Caleb took not his girlfriend, but his fiancée to the Tobyhanna Army Depot for the drill weekend. So muchhappiness – but we still had a weight on our minds – the deployment. Should wehave a swift and sweet wedding in 6 weeks before he was deployed (I would notbe able to go with him to where he was deployed) or wait it out for the wholeyear of separation until he returned? We asked his Christian friends, theBarshingers for their advice and after thought and prayer decided it would bebest to wait until after he returned from deployment. A hurried marriagebeforehand would only make the long separation harder. We decided that withinthe same Saturday. That evening at the formal Army dining out, Caleb introducedme to the captain who he had called about his deployment. She warmlycongratulated us on our engagement, and I told her that I had been there whenhe called about the deployment and that it was nice to meet her in person. “Youknow”, she said, “it’s looking like it’s not going to happen” (Finding areplacement? I thought) “They’re weakening the force”….I don’t remember allelse she said, but after she gave us further best wishes and moved on to greet anothertable, we both realized that Caleb’s deployment had changed in ourunderstanding from nearly inevitable to nearly unlikely with a few wordsdropped from high places. Soon afterwards we were talking about a summer wedding.I was afraid to let my hopes up, but as time went on, I began to believe thatwe could plan for it. God has so clearly led us together thus far, it was nolonger reasonable for us to be apart unless providentially hindered. If he isto be deployed, so be it. We are engaged to be married – someday. We hope thatwill be the 19^th of May, 2012. Come quickly! Even more, comequickly, Prince of Peace who will make wars cease to the end of the earth – sadwars that tear beloved men from the arms of those who love them. I am so proudof my soldier, but I will be happy when the day comes when his brave servicesare not needed. When that day comes,when He, our Savior, comes, He willnot only bring an end to war, but bring all those who love and serve Him hereinto that everlasting love of which earthly marriage is but a feeble picture.Maranatha!

I Am Engaged to You!

2012-01-05T09:06:00.002-05:00

"A friend loves at all times"

~ Proverbs 17:17

I think you're pretty special!

..so do I!

the ring he designed

(Thank you, April, for taking these engagement photos for Caleb and me!)

"And now good morrow to our waking souls,

Which watch not one another out of fear;

For love, all love ofother sights controls,

And makes one littleroom an everywhere."

~ John Donne

"My face in thine eye, thine in mine appears,

And true plain hearts do in the faces rest"

~ John Donne

to the river!

A:"Oh, Caleb, the sky is so pretty!"

C: "I didn't notice the sky"

Happiest with you.

“Haply I think on thee,--and then my state

(Like to the lark at break of day arising

From sullen earth) sings hymns at heaven's gate;

For thy sweet love remember'd such wealth brings

That then I scorn to change my state withkings.”

- Shakespeare, Sonnet XXIX

I love you!

"Let sea-discoverers to new worlds have gone,

Let maps to others, worlds on worlds have shown,

Let us possess one world; each hath one, and is one."

~ John Donne

"Wherever I am,there's always Pooh,

There's always Pooh andMe.

Whatever I do, he wantsto do,

"Where are yougoing today?" says Pooh:

"Well, that's veryodd 'cos I was too.

Let's go together," says Pooh, says he.

"Let's go together," says Pooh."

"What's twiceeleven?" I said to Pooh.

("Twice what?"said Pooh to Me.)

"I think it oughtto be twenty-two."

"Just what I thinkmyself," said Pooh.

"It wasn't an easysum to do,

But that's what itis," said Pooh, said he.

"That's what itis," said Pooh.

""Let's look for dragons," I saidto Pooh.

"Yes, let's," said Pooh to Me.

We crossed the river and found a few-

"Yes, those are dragons all right,"said Pooh.

"Assoon as I saw their beaks I knew.

That's what they are," said Pooh, said he.

"That's what they are," said Pooh.

"Let's frighten the dragons," I saidto Pooh.

"That's right," said Pooh to Me.

"I'm not afraid," I said to Pooh,

And I held his paw and I shouted "Shoo!

Silly old dragons!"- and off they flew.

"I wasn't afraid," said Pooh, said he,

"I'm never afraid with you."

So wherever I am, there's always Pooh,

There's always Pooh and Me.

"What would I do?" I said to Pooh,

"If it wasn't for you," and Pooh said:"True,

It isn't much fun for One, but Two,

Can stick together, says Pooh, says he."That's how it is," says Pooh.

~ A. A. Milne

Where can we find twobetter hemispheres,

Without sharp North,without declining West?

Whatever dies was notmixed equally;

If our two loves be one; or thou and I

Love so alike that none do slacken, none candie.”

- John Donne

He Who Holds the Keys

2011-12-01T20:54:00.001-05:00

"It is impossible to be submissive and religiously patient if ye stay your thoughts down among the confused rollings and wheels of second causes, as O the place! O the time! O if this had been, this had not followed!...Look up to the master motion and the first wheel."

- Samuel Rutherford

"We are always held in the love of God. We are never wholly at the mercy of other people - they are only 'second causes," and no matter how many second or third or fiftieth causes seem to be in control of what happens to us, it is God who is in charge, He who holds the keys, He who casts the lot finally into the lap."

- Elisabeth Elliot

"'The eternal God is your dwelling place,
and underneath are the everlasting arms.’"
(Deuteronomy 33:27 ESV)

"The Proof of Love"

2011-11-28T12:04:00.001-05:00

Testing Times - The Proof of Love

"Fear not: for God is come toprove you."—Exodus xx. 20.

..."Fear not,"—thiswas the tender message; and the reason for confidence was given,—"forGod is come to prove you" The blessed fact of His presencechanged the appearance of all the things that seemed against me. The trialwas not taken away, but my eyes were opened to see that, if it came from thehand of my God, there must be a blessing in it. My soul pondered the sweetassurance, and found therein the calm of Heaven, after the storms and strifesof earth.

...If we can only get firmly fixed in our heartsthe truth that the Lord's hand is in everything that happens to us,we have found a balm for-all our woes, a remedy for all our ills. When friendsfail us and grow cold, when enemies triumph and wax confident, when thesmooth pathway upon which we have been travelling suddenly becomes rough,stony, and steep,—we are too apt to look askance at the visible secondcauses, and to forget that our God has foreseen every trial, permittedevery annoyance, and authorized each item of discipline, with thisset purpose: "The Lord your God proveth you, to know whether ye love theLord your God with all your heart and with all your soul" (Deut. xiii. 3).O heart of mine, what is thy response to this demand? Dost thou not love Himenough to endure any test to prove it?

I remember once reading words to this effect—that, themoment we come into any trial or difficulty, our first thought shouldbe, not how soon can we escape from it, or how may we lessenthe pain we shall suffer from it, but how can we best glorify God in it, andmost quickly learn the lesson which He desires to teach us by it? ...The soul that has learned the blessed secret of seeing God'shand in all that concerns it, cannot be a prey to fear; itlooks beyond all second causes,straight into the heart and will of God, andrests content, because He rules.

"Godis come to prove you'' My soul, think how great must be Hislove to thee, that He should stoop to search for thy heart's obedience anddevotion! Think of the Infinite God, thy Redeemer, longing, desiring, yearningto be assured of thy supreme affection! As He Himself puts it by His servantMoses, —

" Thou shalt remember all the way which the Lord thy God led thee,... to humble thee, and to prove thee, to know what was in thy heart, whetherthou wouldest keep His commandments or no."

What pains He has taken withthee! How tenderly He has borne with thee! Every trial has been a test, everypain has had a purpose. And can it be that thou art still keeping back from Himthe full surrender of heart and life which His Divine love demands? Stilllingering and wavering on the borderland of halfheartedness, instead of gladly leavingall to follow Him? Nay, Lord, it shall be so no longer! Help me to give Thee,at this moment, instantly and eagerly, the proof of my love which Thou dostseek, in the submission of my heart to all Thy will, and the entireconsecration of body, soul, and spirit to Thy service! Then, every yoke will bemade easy, and every burden will become light, for I shall carry them under thefirm conviction that my gracious Lord has laid them on me, and is but testingthe strength of the love and grace which He Himself has given.

~Susannah Spurgeon

That Thou May'st Find Thy All in Me

2011-11-19T14:40:00.001-05:00

Iasked the Lord that I might grow

In faith, and love, and every grace;
Might more of His salvation know,
And seek, more earnestly, His face.

’Twas He who taught methus to pray,

And He, I trust, has answered prayer!
But it has been in such a way,
As almost drove me to despair.

I hoped that in somefavored hour,

At once He’d answer my request;
And by His love’s constraining pow’r,
Subdue my sins, and give me rest.

Instead of this, Hemade me feel

The hidden evils of my heart;
And let the angry pow’rs of hell
Assault my soul in every part.

Yea more, with His ownhand He seemed

Intent to aggravate my woe;
Crossed all the fair designs I schemed,
Blasted my gourds, and laid me low.

Lord, why is this, Itrembling cried,

Wilt thou pursue thy worm to death?
“’Tis in this way, the Lord replied,
I answer prayer for grace and faith.

These inward trials Iemploy,

From self, and pride, to set thee free;
And break thy schemes of earthly joy,
That thou may’st find thy all in Me.”

~ John Newton

"And death itself shall not dissolve."

2011-09-15T09:40:00.005-05:00

I've been listening to an audio version of Foxe's Book of Martyrs recently and was particularly touched by this account. It is hard to judge whether the woman was right in her actions. Perhaps she was foolish, perhaps desperate, but her devotion as a wife - to cast her lot wholly with her husband in his faith and in the consequences of it - seems beautiful:

Pichel, a bigoted popish magistrate, apprehended twenty-four Protestants, among whom was his daughter's husband. As they all owned they were of the reformed religion, he indiscriminately condemned them to be drowned in the river Abbis. On the day appointed for the execution, a great concourse of people attended, among whom was Pichel's daughter. This worthy wife threw herself at her father's feet, bedewed them with tears, and in the most pathetic manner, implored him to commisserate her sorrow, and pardon her husband. The obdurate magistrate sternly replied, "Intercede not for him, child, he is a heretic, a vile heretic." To which she nobly answered, "Whatever his faults may be, or however his opinions may differ from yours, he is still my husband, a name which, at a time like this, should alone employ my whole consideration." Pichel flew into a violent passion and said, "You are mad! cannot you, after the death of this, have a much worthier husband?" "No, sir, (replied she) my affections are fixed upon this, and death itself shall not dissolve my marriage vow."Pichel, however, continued inflexible, and ordered the prisoners to be tied with their hands and feet behind them, and in that manner be thrown into the river. As soon as this was put into execution, the young lady watched her opportunity, leaped into the waves, and embracing the body of her husband, both sank together into one watery grave. An uncommon instance of conjugal love in a wife, and of an inviolable attachment to, and personal affection for, her husband.

But Ruth said, “Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. May the LORD do so to me and more also if anything but death parts me from you.” (Ruth 1:16-17 ESV)

"And shall be theirs"

2011-08-04T12:41:00.004-05:00

I cut this poem out of a church bulletin and have had it taped on my wall for years. The paper is now old and curling, but the words are now in my memory. After taking down at last the well-loved little paper from my wall, I think the poem deserves a fresh imprinting here.

"Wouldst thou have that good, that blessed mind,

That is so much to heavenly things inclin'd

That it aloft will soar, and always be

Contemplating on blest eternity?

That blessed mind that counts itself then free

When it can at the throne of Jesus be.

There to behold the mansions he prepares

For such as be with him and his co-heirs.

This mind is in the covenant of grace,

And shall be theirs that truly seek his face."

- John Bunyan

2011-07-28T15:43:00.009-05:00

"Over all His works"

"Even the unclean beasts, which were least valuable and profitable, were preserved alive in the ark; for God's tender mercies are over all his works, and not over those only that are of most eminence and use."- Matthew Henry

Wikimedia Commons

Thoughts on a Humble Life

2011-07-14T19:28:00.005-05:00

"Clothes came in with sin. We should have had no occasion for them, either for defence or decency, if sin had not made us naked, to our shame. Little reason therefore we have to be proud of our clothes." '

- Matthew Henry

" in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control..."

- 1 Timothy 2:9, ESV

"That calling or condition of life is best for us, and to be chosen by us, which is best for our souls, that which least exposes us to sin and gives us most opportunity of serving and enjoying God."

- Matthew Henry

"aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one."

- 1 Thessalonians 4:11, ESV

2011-07-06T10:00:00.008-05:00

"He would show"

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters.

- Genesis 1:1-2, ESV

A chaos was the first matter...mere earth, destitute of its ornaments, such a heavy unwieldy mass was it...This immense mass of matter was it out of which all bodies, even the firmament and visible heavens themselves, were afterwards produced by the power of the Eternal Word. The Creator could have made his work perfect at first, but by this gradual proceeding he would show what is, ordinarily, the method of his providence and grace."

- Matthew Henry

2011-03-18T14:28:00.005-05:00

For Thee, O God

As wingless bird blown from its nest

By heartless wind with cruel surprise

As such a bird for wings to rise

So longs my soul for Thee, O God.

As wandering lamb when twilight falls

Cold, bleating longs for sheltered fold

And shepherd-love to find and hold
So longs my soul for Thee, O God.

As stranger lone in friendless place

Met cold by loveless stranger gaze

Hungers for home and love's warm rays,

So longs my soul for Thee, O God.

For Thou art wings to weakened souls

And Love to find the ones who roam

And bring them to Thee - Thou art Home

And joy to me, Thou art my God.

- AFC, 3-18-2011

2011-02-22T09:06:00.003-05:00

Letters to a 17th century woman....

BE sure that humility, frequent silence and recollection, will do you more good than any amount of anxiety and self-chosen austerities. Silence is, above all, important for you. Even when you cannot withdraw from society, you might often practise silence, and let others take the lead in conversation. There is no way by which you can so effectually subdue your haughty, disdainful, contemptuous spirit, as by bridling it with silence. Keep a strict watch upon your tongue. The presence of God, which restrains your words, will likewise keep all your thoughts and wishes in check. But this work must be accomplished gradually. Be patient with yourself, as well as with others.

I THINK, Madame, that you should try hard now to practise silence, so far as general courtesy will permit. Silence promotes the presence of God, prevents many harsh and proud words, and suppresses many dangers in the way of ridiculing or harshly judging our neighbor. Silence humbles the mind, and gradually weans it from the world; it makes a kind of solitude in the heart like that which you desire: it will supply all that you need under your present difficulties. If you retrenched all useless talk, you would have many available moments even in the midst of society, where you are obliged to stay against your will....Often lift up your heart to Him, without making any outward sign; talk only when it is necessary; and bear patiently with what crosses you. You have more need of self-denial than of light. If you are faithful in keeping silence when it is not necessary to speak, God will preserve you from evil when it is right for you to talk.
Your portion is to love, to be silent, to suffer, to sacrifice your inclinations, in order to fulfil the will of God, by moulding yourself to that of others. Happy indeed you are thus to bear a cross laid on you by God's own hands, in the order of His Providence. The discipline which we choose for ourselves does not destroy our self-love like that which God assigns us Himself each day. All we have to do is to give ourselves up to God day by day, without looking further. He carries us in His arms as a loving mother carries her child. Let us believe, hope, love, with all the simplicity of children. In every need let us look with love and trust to our Heavenly Father.

- Fenelon, Selections

2011-02-16T20:58:00.003-05:00

...Who loves Thee

"I would love Thee, God and Father!

My Redeemer, and my King!

I would love Thee; for without Thee

Life is but a bitter thing

I would love Thee; ev'ry blessing

Flows to me from out Thy throne

I would love Thee; He who loves Thee

Never feels himself alone."

- Jeanne Marie Guyon

2011-02-04T13:27:00.003-05:00

"Because the way is short"

I think we are too ready with complaint
In this fair world of God's. Had we no hope
Indeed beyond the zenith and the slope
Of yon gray blank of sky, we might grow faint
To muse upon eternity's constraint
Round our aspirant souls; but since the scope
Must widen early, is it well to droop,
For a few days consumed in loss and taint ?

O pusillanimous Heart, be comforted
And, like a cheerful traveller, take the road
Singing beside the hedge. What if the bread
Be bitter in thine inn, and thou unshod
To meet the flints ? At least it may be said
' Because the way is short, I thank thee, God. '

- "Cheerfulness Taught by Reason"

by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

2011-01-26T12:32:00.004-05:00

A Thousand Yards Deep

"When the work on the cross was finished, blood formed a creek;

Grace from the west flowed a thousand yards deep."

- "The Cross"

Chinese

"For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross."

- Colossians 1:19-20, ESV

2011-01-20T09:57:00.009-05:00

Unspoken Thoughts on Womanliness

And...
...that's all I have to say.

2011-01-15T19:53:00.005-05:00

"...looking up for glory, my fear all fly away."

A poem written about two years ago, which I rediscovered this evening and found most timely! Dark winters never cease to come, and we still have no other hope but Christ.

In bleak and chilling winter
When earth’s frail comforts fly
Where can I hide but in your side,
Whose life keeps mine on high?

Health proves a reed to lean on.
Stark illness stalks the best.
What can I do, but cling to You,
Whose love is my sweet rest?

I feel the pangs of sin’s blight
As every earthling should
What can I do but trust in You
Who works all for my good?

Earth’s days fly fast to evening
And cold black nights descend
What can I do but hope in you?
For you will come again!

A day will come as flooding
Of summer’s seaside wave
A day will come as rising
Of sun that dawns to save

Our King will leap the bound’ry
Of earth’s cold, cloud-grayed sky,
With potent regal glory,
To bring salvation nigh

And judgment to the evil
That scorns His precious grace,
Reversal of the evil
That plagues his chosen race.

His piercing eyes of judgment
Bring terror realized
To sinners bound for torment
From Him they long despised.

But, oh His face’s shining
Will be the sweetest sight
To those whose hearts were yearning
For Him through earth’s long night.

This star of hope shines for me
Though dark my present day
And looking up for glory
My fears all fly away.

- AFC, 2009

2011-01-13T16:57:00.009-05:00

If Only They Knew...

Reading today in my human development textbook* on the decisions that agonize parents of abnormal children I was stirred by the powerful nature of our world's blindness to the truth of the Creator.
In the case study, a couple is discussing the implications of having a baby with Down syndrome...

"It's not as though we're deciding whether or not to have a baby. We're deciding what kind of baby we're willing to accept. If it's perfect in every way, we keep it. If it doesn't fit the right specifications, whoosh! Out it goes."...

John was looking more and more confused. "Martha, why are you on this soapbox? What's your point?"

"My point is," I said, "that I'm trying to get you to tell me what you tink constitutes a 'defective' baby. What about...oh, I don't know, a hyperactive baby? Or an ugly one?"

"They can't test for those things and --"

"Well, what if they could?" I said. "Medicine can do all kinds of magical tricks these days. Pretty soon we're going to be aborting babies because they have the gene for alcoholism, or homosexuality, or manic depression...."

"Look," he said, "I know I can't always see things from your perspective. And I'm sorry about that. But the way I see it, if a baby is going to be deformed or something, abortion is a way to keep everyone from suffering - especially the baby. It's like shooting a horse that's broken its leg.... A lame horse dies slowly you know?...It dies in terrible pain. And it can't run anymore. So it can't enjoy life even if it doesn't die. Horses live to run; that's what they do. If a baby is born not being able to do what other people do, I think it's better not to prolong its suffering."

"And what is it," I said softly..."what is it that people do? What do we live to do, the way a horse lives to run?"

What do we live to do? If only they knew! This is why we share the gospel with people: they do not know what they were made to do -"to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever". To not know that God is our Maker, that sin destroys our ability fulfill our God-given purpose, that the cross and resurrection of Christ restores us to our God-glorifying destiny - to not know these things is an unspeakable tragedy. Without the gospel, life is meaningless. Without the gospel, we cannot see a hope or divine purpose in the gift of an abnormal child. Without the gospel, we will slaughter unwanted babies, and never know why it makes us feel bad. Without the gospel, we are in a wretched darkness that does not end when this life ends.

How sweet, then, is the light that God causes to dawn on darkened hearts, to give us "the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God"(2 Cor. 4:4, ESV) , who restores that image in us, and who will work all things in our life for good. How sweet it is. If only they knew.

*The Developing Person Through the Life Span by Kathleen Stass Berger, 7th ed.

2011-01-03T10:38:00.004-05:00

"They love Thee little, if at all, who do not fear Thee much..."

This morning I was listening to Sinclair Ferguson preach on the fear of the Lord, and heard him read this lovely poem by F. W. Faber:

My fear of Thee, O Lord, exults
Like life within my veins,
A fear which tightly claims to be
One of love's sacred pains.

There is no joy the soul can meet
Upon life's various road
Like the sweet fear that sits and shrinks
Under the eye of God.
Oh, Thou art greatly to be feared,
Thou art so prompt to bless!
The dread to miss such love as Thine
Makes fear but love's excess.
But fear is love, and love is fear,
And in and out they move;
But fear is an intenser joy
Than mere unfrightened love.
They love Thee little, if at all,
Who do not fear Thee much;
If love is Thine attraction, Lord!
Fear is Thy very touch.
—F. W. Faber

The Chaseur in the Forest
Caspar David Friedrich

2010-12-23T16:40:00.003-05:00

I've just finished a lovely book - James Good's Famous Women of the Reformed Churc h. The final chapter - the only one about an American woman, was on Mrs. Thomas Doremus, a woman who gave herself to constant industry for the advancement of God's kingdom.

There were two secrets to her wonderful life, personal consecration and untiring activity. Thus when the Woman's Missionary Society met at her house and she was asked if this or that could be done, her reply was "All I have is the Lord's" For her to live was Christ.

Her activity was as great as her consecration. Her favorite text was, "Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with all thy might." As her health was generally delicate and she suffered for many years from pulmonary troubles, she often said "I do today for fear tomorrow will never come."

"Well, here is her epitaph, written 1800 years ago by St. Paul, 'Well reported of for good works, she hath brought up children, she hath lodged strangers, she hath washed the saints' feet, she hath relieved the afflicted, she hath diligently followed every good work.'"

Reading about such zealous lives inspires me to more diligent and faithful service in the kingdom. I want this to be said of me! Soli Deo gloria!

2010-12-04T16:08:00.003-05:00

"God is the best Master.

'There is no God like thee, in heaven above, or on the earth beneath, who keepest covenant and mercy with thy servants...there hath not failed one word of all his good promise' (1 Kings 8:23,56)

In our wants, he relieves us,
in our weakness, he pities us...

He waits on his servants. Was there ever such a Master?
'...He shall gird himself, and make them sit down to meat, and will come forth and serve them' (Luke12:37)

When we are sick, he makes our bed:
'Thou wilt make all his bed in his sickness' (Ps 41:3)

He holds our head when we are fainting.

Other masters may forget their servants, and cast them off when they are old, but God will not: 'Thou art my servant: O Israel, thou shalt not be forgotten of me' (Isa. 44:21)

It is a slander to say, 'God is a hard Master'.

- Thomas Watson, The Godly Man's Picture

2010-12-02T08:37:00.006-05:00

"Let it never be said that the Church of God has no feeling of patriotism for the Holy City, for the Heavenly Land and for her glorious King enthroned above. To us, Christian patriotism means love to the Church of God, for-

“There our best friends, our kindred dwell,

There God our Savior reigns.”

Let us have loyalty, by all means; but, chiefly, loyalty to Christ. Let us have true patriotism; but, especially that patriotism which consists in love to “the land of the living” of which Christ is the one King and Ruler.

- C. H. Spurgeon

2010-11-25T10:41:00.004-05:00

"Thanks to God for my Redeemer" - and before I could thank him for more, I saw that there are a million worlds of good bound up in this - this one lovely, majestic, mighty and merciful Person, without whom I would have no good thing.

Thanks to Him who did not spare His own Son but gave Him up for us all, who surely will also with Him, freely give us all things.

Thanks to the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me.

Thanks to the righteous Servant who makes me to be accounted righteous, bearing my iniquities.

Thanks to Him who is determined that I will not perish, who will pursue me with goodness and mercy all the days of my life, and will take me to dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Thanks to Him who stands at the door and knocks, wanting to come in and eat with me - him and me? yes - God and sinner - reconciled, eating food together. He is that gracious.

Oh, my Redeemer...enough for me.

"I say to the Lord, 'You are my Lord;
I have no good apart from you.'"
- Psalm 16:2, ESV

2010-11-01T10:47:00.003-05:00

Some fresh glory just got spilled on the air. The sun is happily sweeping it up with a crisp autumn breeze, but is not succeeding in making anything more tidy - just scattering fragrant leafy light all over the place. I think that it isn't trying very hard, but it's okay. We like glory.

2010-10-19T18:39:00.002-05:00

" ....Further up the ladder of death he went, exclaiming, 'Art not Thou from everlasting, O Lord my God. I shall not die but live.' And in the last seconds before he was with Christ, Mr Sickerfoot, as sure of foot and as full of faith as Joshua, lifted the napkin from his face, crying, The Covenants! The Covenants! They shall yet be Scotland's reviving.' Captain William Govan, intently watching, stood by. His martial shoulders were squared. Gazing lovingly at the dangling dead minister of Christ, he thought of Calvary's Tree. 'It is sweet! It is sweet!' he cried, 'otherwise how durst I look with courage upon the corpse of him who hangs there, and smile upon these sticks and that gibbet as the very Gates of Heaven.' The hangman had him prepared. The brave soldier taking a ring from a finger, gave it to a friend, asking him to carry it to his wife, and to tell her that he died in humble confidence and found the Cross of Christ sweet, and that Christ had done all for him, and that it was by Him alone that he was justified. Someone called to him to look up to the Lord Jesus, and he smilingly said, 'He looks down and smiles at me.' As he ascended the ladder there rang out from him across the crowds these words: 'Dear friends, pledge this cup of suffering as I have done before you sin, for sin and suffering have been presented to me and I h ave chosen the suffering part.' The rope adjusted, he ended his witness with, 'Praise and glory be to Christ forever.' A little pause, a little prayer, the signal given, and all was over, and he too swung in the fresh summer air."

James Guthrie, martyr of the Covenanters. God make us like him.

(http://www.newble.co.uk/guthriew/jamesmem.html)

2010-08-30T12:22:00.004-05:00

A sadly worn little copy of George Herbert's poems, which I discovered in the used book store around the corner and down the street, has proven itself far more precious than the two dollars I paid for it. Now that I have fixed the cover (stiff fusible interfacing wrapped in cotton fabric) my dear friend is much better prepared for the frequent handling he receives.

Herbert is intensely devotional as well as a lover of colorful words. Hence I like him very much; his verse is like good medicine. Here is the one poem that I cannot get out of my head for the love of it:

"The Dawning"

Awake, sad heart, whom sorrow ever drowns ;
Take up thine eyes, which feed on earth ;
Unfold thy forehead, gathered into frowns ;
Thy Saviour comes, and with Him mirth :
Awake, awake,
And with a thankful heart His comforts take.
But thou dost still lament, and pine, and cry,
And feel His death, but not His victory.

Arise, sad heart ; if thou dost not withstand,
Christ's resurrection thine may be ;
Do not by hanging down break from the hand
Which, as it riseth, raiseth thee :
Arise, Arise;
And with His burial linen drie thine eyes.
Christ left His grave-clothes, that we might, when grief
Draws tears or blood, not want a handkerchief.

Love!

2010-07-29T16:05:00.005-05:00

the very Definition of all that is Beautiful and Good

"God is dependent upon nothing beyond his own being...There were no principles of truth, goodness, or beauty that were next to or above God according to which he patterned the world. The principles of truth, goodness, and beauty are to be thought of as identical with God's being; they are the attributes of God."

"When man fell it was therefore his attempt to do without God in every respect. Man sought his ideals of truth, goodness, and beauty somewhere beyond God, either directly within himself or in the universe about him...man had interpreted the universe under the direction of God, but now he sought to interpret the universe without reference to God."

- Cornelius Van Til, The Defense of the Faith

How we need to know this God! It is an extraordinary comfort to the beauty-loving and believing soul that the God whom we look forward to knowing for all of eternity is the very definition of all that is beautiful and good. Any good thing we love here is derivative of His great goodness and beauty.

2010-07-23T09:55:00.002-05:00

"When tyrants reign, let us first remember our faults, which are chastised by such scourges; and, therefore, humility will restrain our impatience. Besides, it is not in our power to remedy these evils, and all that remains for us is to implore the assistance of the Lord, in whose hand are the hearts of mean and the revolutions of kingdoms."

- John Calvin, Institutes, aphorism 98

2010-07-18T20:54:00.005-05:00

"Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you. "
- James 4:10, ESV

I can confess and bemoan my sinfulness without being humble. Self-examination that ends with the mournful declaration, 'I'm a terrible person' may not be true humility, because it can leave me more self-righteous than I was before. The goal of seeing my sin is, after realizing all that I am in my self, that I childlike, needy, trusting, run to Jesus and rejoice in Him as Savior.
After I have seen all of my failures, I must refuse to exult in the discerning depth of my self-awareness. Humility's final look is toward the Lord. To know my own weakness and wretchedness, and yet freely exult in a mighty and gracious Savior, is the most humble act of all.

2010-06-25T15:58:00.001-05:00

"It is not he that reads most, but he that meditates most, that will prove the choicest, sweetest, wisest and strongest Christian."

- Thomas Brooks

2010-06-11T11:24:00.006-05:00

Part of Something Beautiful

The Castle of Alcalá de Guadaira by David Roberts

"let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious." - 1 Peter 3:4

The beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit is dreadfully underrated. It doesn't look like much. Humanity's eyes are so dazzled and their ears so dulled by the flash and noise of loud-spirited women, that they can hardly see the pure beauty of harmony. Momentary sensations seem more attractive than the enduring wonder of a life increasingly submitted to God. Striking every key on a piano, or pouring all the paints in the box onto a canvas might attract people's attention with noise and color, but it is not beauty, because it has no harmony. A beautiful and lasting piece of art comes from careful attention to order and design.

A woman living in cheerful acquiescence to the Creator's design is beautiful because she has been brought into a place of harmony. Living as God designed her to live, she stands where she was meant to be. Like one true note in a great symphony, or one true stroke in a great painting, she is beautiful because she has become a willing part of a greater beauty. By so doing, she becomes both less (because she has given up herself) and more (because she is part of something greater). Those who know and love that something greater can see the true beauty of her life, and the greater thing to which it points - the redemptive purpose of an all-wise God. She may be disdained by those who cannot see that something greater. Those who cannot see are often the majority, and those who love the Creator are all too few. But only for now...

"Then I heard what seemed to be the voice of a great multitude, like the roar of many waters and like the sound of mighty peals of thunder, crying out,
“Hallelujah!
For the Lord our God
the Almighty reigns.
Let us rejoice and exult
and give him the glory,
for the marriage of the Lamb has come,
and his Bride has made herself ready;
it was granted her to clothe herself
with fine linen, bright and pure”—
for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints."
- Revelation 19:6-8, ESV

2010-06-04T15:38:00.004-05:00

"A smiling welcome"

"The Lord be praised for all His tender mercies and loving-kindnesses - unceasing and unwearying as His love. My continual shortcomings, and oftcoming for forgiveness again and again, does not exhaust Him. I should have wearied out the whole host of heaven before this ; but Jesus is never wearied with hearing the cries of His poor tried and tempted saints. Always are they welcome, and I think the oftener I go the more welcome I am. Not a frown upon that countenance towards one who really feels his need of Him. A smiling welcome, fraught with mighty blessings, which, while it gladdens the heart, fills the soul with a humbling sense of its own vileness, - humbled in self, exalted in Christ."
- Mary Winslow

2010-05-05T16:24:00.008-05:00

A Dear Old Hymn

"I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content." - Philippians 4:11, ESV

Looking through an oldMoravian hymnal awhile ago, I found this 
lovely  'spiritual song', which encourages the believer to look from
the world to Christ. Later, I composed a tune to it (which I am not
technologically proficient enough to post)  but the words 
are the most precious part.

"Look Up My Soul To Christ"

Look up, my soul, to Christ thy joy,
With a believing mind ;
With all the ills which thee annoy,
The way to Jesus find :
Here in this world thou hast no home,
Nor lasting joy; to Jesus come,
He is the pearl of greatest price,
Who all thy wants supplies.

Steadfast in faith to Jesus cleave,
His faithfulness review,
And every burden with him leave,
Whose love is daily new :
His ways with thee are just and right,
He puts thy enemies to flight:
However threatening they appear,
Take courage, he is near.

Lift up thy heart to him on high,
And leave this sordid earth;
Behold, with a believing eye,
God's excellence and worth :
Devote thy life, thy all, to him,
Who did thy soul from death redeem,
In love to thee the cross endured,
And life for thee procured.

Arise, and seek the things above;
Let heaven be all thy aim,
Where Jesus dwells in bliss and love,
And earth, and sin, disclaim:
The world, and all its empty joy,
His potent breath will once destroy;
Abiding rest, and peace of mind,

In Christ alone we find.

Y. C. Schade, 1666-98,

2010-04-01T19:52:00.011-05:00

"They All Wear Uniforms..."

"There is a global war on between Christ and Satan. All men are participants in this war. They all wear uniforms; they are all for or against God."

- Cornelius Van Til

...and what is the uniform of the godly woman? She wears one in this battle, one that proclaims the beauty of God's commands. What will it look like? Scripture will be her guide; let her be wary of a uniform designed by the enemy.

"We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ."
- 2 Corinthians 10:5, ESV

2010-02-24T20:58:00.002-05:00

A short word on hearts and parents

My son, give me your heart,
and let your eyes observe my ways."
- Proverbs 23:26, ESV

Muril's Return of the Prodigal Son

If the Lord has given us a godly father and mother, how greatly we ought to prize them, and embrace their wisdom and guidance! It is a sad and foolish thing when we (young people in general) see our parents as a hindrance to our desires and dreams instead of our most trusted counselors and confidants.

Before Christ saved me, I would have quoted "'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" and preferred the 'freedom' of letting my heart be broken by the young man I 'loved' than that I should humble myself and submit to my parents in matters of the heart. It took a mighty work of God's saving grace in my heart to change me from someone who despised my parent's love and counsel to someone who desires and seeks it - not because they are perfect, but because it is HIS way, and being His way is the best way.

To see our parents' faults and yet give them our hearts is sometimes hard and often humbling. But God ordains that we submit to and honor our imperfect parents, obeying them in the Lord, and humble submission to His order invites His blessing. As the divine Son submitted to the divine Father, so we whom He has redeemed submit our fallible selves to our fallible parents. In this way we reflect our love for the one who was 'obedient even to death'. It may mean the death of our pride and the growth of our wisdom in ways that we never imagined.

Godly parents are among the very greatest blessings God can give to a child. How we should honor them and the One who gave them to us!

2010-02-22T09:34:00.004-05:00

Some Thoughts on Education

"The Young Schoolmistress" by Jean Baptiste Simeon Chardin

In many earlier civilizations, there were not schools as we know them today. Young people were 'discipled' into adult-hood by their parents, grandparents and community. When they knew what their parents knew, and were able to do what their parents had done, their education was complete and a new generation was prepared to raise the next generation. (Examples of such societies would be ancient Israel or early Native Americans.) Many today would view these societies as ' primitive' compared to the highly developed societies of today, but such should consider what justifies this view, and what real advantage in quality of life have been gained by our supposed progress.

Other societies did have schools, usually for the purpose of educating young men for a set purpose - such as being a lawyer or doctor. Young men often learned a trade from their father, or were apprenticed to another tradesman. After being taught what to do, they were evaluated by the quality of their work - their ability to do as their teacher had done. Young women's education was mostly in the home where they were trained to be capable in domestic affairs.

America 's educational system really is a fairly recent one. Some of its elements are based upon the ancient Greek system of education. But one of the most important things to note about today's public school is that many of its elements come from philosophies based on the Darwinian theory of evolution, which began to be widely disseminated in the late 1800's. The Darwinian theory of evolution does not view man as God's creature, made as male and female, in God's image to have dominion in the earth. Instead, it considers man to be an independent being of highly developed instinct and ability, who is continuing by stages to evolve to higher levels of instinct and ability. Based on this theory, man is to be understood by his instincts, grouped according to level of development of those instincts, and then educated in a way that appeals to the instinct of the stage and prepares to move on to the next stage. John Dewey was one of the foremost applicators of the Darwinian Theory to the process of education and his educational theories are widely influential today.

Unlike Darwin, the Christian believes that man is divinely created, male and female, in God's image, but fallen through sin. Man, being in God's image, has mind, will, and emotions - all of which are to be exercised to their fullest capacity in glorifying God, and all of which are corrupted by sin. The Christian educational process therefore, involves seeking to undo the effects of sin on the mind, will and emotions. It does this first, by leading children to the knowledge of their Creator and exhorting them through instruction and discipline to repent of the rebellion of their personhood (mind, will and emotions) against God and His laws, and accept the free redemption of their whole being which has been accomplished by Christ. It does this, secondly, by seeking to naturally cultivate the mind, will and emotions to their fullest capacity, so that the redeemed person will be equipped to live out in the world the purpose for which they were created and redeemed by Christ.

When considering what form this Christian education should take, Christians should not think that they need to use the forms of the world. "The world" system is controlled by the evil one, in opposition to Christ, and is "passing away" (1 John 2), while Christ's kingdom is advancing through His obedient people. If Christians want to raise their children to live out the redemption of Christ in the world and advance his kingdom against the enemy, sending their children to be trained in the enemy's camp is not the recipe for success! Far better form them to be trained by those who love Christ's kingdom and are preparing them to advance it in the world - not by weapons of warfare but by the knowledge of the gospel, deeds of love and the capturing of every thought and to make it obedient to Christ.

The Christian view calls for an education based upon and driven by the word of God. It does not demand classrooms or grade-levels. It demands men and women of wisdom and discipline, who love the Creator and Redeemer, who love the knowledge of the truth, who are willing to pour their love and knowledge into their children's lives, and who exhort them through word and discipline toward the obedience of faith. Believers of vision should be willing to start from these foundations and build upward in forming educational methods. To take the forms and methods of Dewey, and other Christ-less philosophers, and 'sanctify' these methods by injecting into them Christian elements, is a mediocre attempt at best. Instead, Christians should look for the methods which best fit the Scriptural commands for training children.

According to the Scriptures, fathers and mothers are held primarily responsible for the education of their children. (Deut. 6:7, Psalm 78:5) In Proverbs, children are commanded to listen to their father’s instruction and to not forsake their mother’s teaching (Proverbs 1:8; 6:20). In the New Testament, fathers are commanded to bring up their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Eph. 6:4). Parents should see the education of their children in the fear of God as their privilege and their responsibility. If a school is to play a role in a child’s education, it should be seen as merely supplemental. The current public school system in America has stepped far out of its proper bounds in efforts to control the education of citizens’ children. Government-funded education is not a child’s right, nor is the education of children the government’s responsibility. The education of children is the parent’s responsibility, and if they should choose to seek the assistance of a trained teacher for their child’s education, they must make that choice with wisdom and discretion. Therefore, if a trained teacher or tutor gives themselves to the education of children other than their own, they should see themselves as assisting the childrens’ parents in educating their children, and not as a servant of an institution which aims to train children after its own philosophy regardless of the parents.

When an earthly government becomes oppressive, Christians who live in it may have to submit to elements of the secular education system because of law. Obedience to civil law should be practiced as Christ commands, but always second to obedience to Christ. Necessitated obedience to government requirements should not be an excuse to give in to the system altogether. Christians should remember that they are engaged in a battle for the knowledge of the truth. They should make the most of every liberty and opportunity to train their children in a Christ-honoring manner, so that their children will come to honor Christ and teach their children to honor Him - in reading and math, science and history, grammar and logic - 'for from Him and through Him and to Him are all things, to Him be the glory forever and ever. Amen'. (Romans 11:36, ESV)

(a response to someone's comment on children needing to learn how to be "salt and light")

I do heartily believe that Christians are to be salt and light in the world. However, as regards children, I think that they should not be sent into the world on their own until they have a firmly developed faith in Christ, and a personal desire to be salt and light. Until then they should be learning how to interact with the world alongside their Christian parents, under their leadership. Think about building a structure- while the structure is in progress, it should be sheltered because it is incomplete and not equipped to face the elements. Children who are sent out into the world (i. e. the public school system) to be 'salt and light' while they are still early in the process of forming their worldview are often not ready to do so. Instead of influencing the culture, because they are so impressionable, they are influenced by it. In the end, their potential to influence the culture for Christ has been lessened. Children should see their parents engaging in their world in an active Christian way. Parents should be teaching their children to do the same while in the home, preparing them for the day when as young adults they will be leaders in their own homes and communities. Build the ship, then put it out to sea.

2010-02-04T15:37:00.003-05:00

"Morning" by Moritz von Schwind

Oswald Chamber's wonderfully helpful advice about getting out of bed in the morning:

"Get up first and think about it later."

How often it has come to mind at the most needful moments! :o)

(from the audio-book Abandoned to God- the life of Oswald Chambers, by David McCasland)

2010-01-27T15:35:00.005-05:00

Is Titus 2:4-5 only for married women?

Some scraps of my thoughts on women's roles.

Let's see... It commands young woman to be 'philandros' and 'philoteknos' - that is "man lovers" and "children lovers" This can be applied to loving father, brothers, and siblings, as well as mothers (who can be the "older women" previously mentioned). Certainly a tender-hearted love for parents and siblings is an adornment to the gospel in a single woman...
When it speaks of subjection to husbands (Gr: 'aner', as opposed to above 'andros', though English translations put "husband" in both cases) it probably applies to marriage. But I think it is foolish for a young woman to skip over the one passage in the entire New Testament which speaks specifically to young women, because she is unmarried and it mentions elements of married life. If I cannot follow this, what else do I follow? What the world tells me to do? If I decide to put this passage in the 'married' box, and look elsewhere for a guide to my single years, I'll miss out big time.

Here's a thought - I'm picturing two garments - one a lovely dress that doesn't quite fit yet (Titus 2 womanhood), and the other a rather mud-stained one-size fits all uniform (what the world does). When a Christian young lady wants to know what to wear into God's kingdom, isn't the lovely garment of Titus 2 womanhood - perhaps a little baggy in some places, but overall beautiful, better than the mud-stained uniform? By the time she grows into it, she will have learned to wear it with ease...

2009-12-25T14:42:00.004-05:00

My Christmas Gift

This year once again, our family decided to focus on sharing 'presentations' instead of presents - either in word or music. I decided to write a poem on the obedience of Christ, and I found both the writing and the reading of it very encouraging. I hope you find it so too.

Advent Poem - The Lawkeeper

When long ago all things that are
Came into life from what was not,
It was submission to command
Of nothing to the word of God.
Time, light-years, sunshine, moonlight, stars
Green ivy, chattering parakeets
Fruit-heavy trees and brilliant flowers
Fish swimming shimmering rivers deep
Were fueled by atoms that obeyed
That word commanding them to be
They lived as wisdom's pow'r displayed
In slavery that made them free.

The tawny lion, bounding bold
Through high fields thick with golden grain
Knew not that his strong frame obeyed
A law that pulsed through all his veins.
Yet he was bound by that one law
That sounded through the milky way
In silence, in the bubbling brook
"All things their Maker must obey"

And after the unknowing things
Had come to be, God made a man
To image him, in thought and will
To understand and love His plan.
Here was creation's shining crown
Who could articulate that law,
Obey, not thoughtless, but with love
And of His Maker stand in awe.
To man God spoke his wise commands
That man might do them willingly.
And if he would submit and live
By them, he would be truly free.

But, woe! To man a voice declared
Dark whispers of another way,
Emancipating happy slaves:
"Your Maker you need not obey"
And willing man believed the lie
That he could rise above that law
By which he lived and moved and breathed
Thus came his death; thus was his fall.

Fruit from a tree? How could it be
That eating should be so condemned?
That biting was a mortal strike
Against a law which must not end.
This strike sent wailing tremors through
The universe of living things
The law that made and blessed them had
Been broken by their God-sent king.

So all was cursed, and bruised and dark
Before this sad law-breaking king
Yet shone a light, for promised God
Another coming conquering king.

Man's race increased and toiled with sweat
To rule the world his sin had cursed
Some toiled with greater sin. Some found
With God, a grace that loved them first.
To Abraham God sweetly swore
To make of him a nation great
And many nations bless through one
Though he must for the promise wait.

The promised nation came to be
And burgeoned in the desert land
Where from a life of slavery they'd
Been freed by God-sent Moses' hand.

Might Moses be that mighty one
Who'd crush the head of God's vile foe?
And save God's people from the curse
Law-breaking men were doomed to know?
For through him God declared the law
Unto His people. But they spurned,
That law, and Moses disobeyed
God's orders when his anger burned.

Yet God preserved the rebel race
And brought them to his promised land
From enemies delivered them
With merciful and mighty hand.
He gave them priests to come before
His presence in law-breakers stead
With lambs and goats whose bleeding throats
For these law-breaking people bled.

Perhaps a priest in Aaron's line
Would overcome the rebel way
And keep God's law and crush with joy
The serpent in one sinless day.
But neither did this line bring hope -
Old Eli's priestly sons, depraved,
Were laws unto themselves, and broke
God's holy law without dismay.

'A king!' The chosen nation cried
'To fight our battles, save our land!'
But this king also disobeyed;
God took the kingdom from his hand.
Obedience, God then declared,
Better to him than sacrifice
Of lambs, or works of men whose hands
Did what was right in their own eyes.

Oh who could right the cursing wrongs
That blighted all the world with night
And bring God's smile again to men
Whose works did not give God delight?
Why would each one so love his own
Decisions over God's commands
Fools, blind with self-adoring pride
Destroying joy with their own hands.

A baby in a feeding trough
With tiny, empty, helpless hands
Come see this one, a faithful son
Who comes to keep the Lord's commands.
Where Adam rose in rebel pride
To disobey God's law and die
This one will stoop by humble choice
Obey God's law and lamb-like die.
This child's a king whose only crown
Is glorying to do that will
That ordered all the universe
And calls men to submission still.
This man obeys, for this man loves
His God, and God delights in Him
"This is my well-beloved Son
In whom I'm pleased - listen to Him!"
This child is God himself, who came
To do what man had failed to do
In God-created flesh, to keep
God's perfect law his whole life through.

Yet he must make amends for many
Sons of Adam and their sin
Thus take their curse of death and know
God's favor turned away from him.
God's favor turned? Oh surely not
Pure reason could assault God's son
But serpent-reason crushed, he prayed
"Father, not mine - Your will be done!"

"Who's hung upon a tree is cursed"
God's law declared in somber tone
So Jesus, took the deathly tree
To be a curse, for us t'atone.

Fruit from a tree? How can it be?
That one death should atone for sin?
That dying was obedience
Unto the law that must not end.
That death sent mighty tremors through
The universe of dying things
The law that killed and cursed them was
Accomplished by their God-sent king.
And justice rose, and made alive
This once-dead and law-keeping king
Who promises to come again
And set aright all sin-cursed things.

- Alyssa Colby - Christmas 2009

2009-12-17T21:05:00.002-05:00

"...no proof of humility"

"The very fact that pompous is now used only in a bad sense measures the degree to which we have lost the old idea of 'solemnity.' To recover it you must think of a court ball, or a coronation, or a victory march, as these things appear to people who enjoy them; in an age when every one puts on his oldest clothes to be happy in, you must re-awake the simpler state of mind in which people put on gold and scarlet to be happy in. Above all, you must be rid of the hideous idea, fruit of a widespread inferiority complex, that pomp, on the proper occasions, has any connexion with vanity or self-conceit. A celebrant approaching the altar, a princess led out by a king to dance a minuet, a general officer on a ceremonial parade... all these wear unusual clothes and move with calculated dignity. This does not mean that they are vain, but that they are obedient; they are obeying the hoc age which presides over solemnity. The modern habit of doing ceremonial things unceremoniously is no proof of humility; rather it proves the offender's inability to forget himself in the rite, and his readiness to spoil for every one else the proper pleasure of ritual."

- C. S. Lewis - Introduction to Paradise Lost

2009-12-07T21:20:00.004-05:00

Fear Nothing

Fear nothing but the loss of that which is most dear to you.
Let nothing be so dear to you as Jesus' love.
Remember that this will never be taken from you.
Then, fear nothing.

"...nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."
- Romans 8:39, ESV

2009-12-05T13:14:00.002-05:00

Submission Better than Sacrifice

"I am not appealed to on the line that I am of 'more use' in certain places. It is me where He wills. Bless the Lord, He guides! Pay attention to the source and He will look after the outflow....

He is preparing us for what He is preparing for us. ...[Christ said] 'As the Father sent me, so send I you'. His first obedience was to the will of God, not the needs of mankind. The voice of the age that says 'Here you will be most good,' is to my mind the voice of the tempter. It is where He places us."

- Oswald Chambers

2009-12-04T19:57:00.003-05:00

Our reading from Jonathan Edwards in family devotions tonight gave me some encouragement in my blundering attempts at following the second greatest commandment. I once thought that I was a wise person, until I began to have a love for the Lord's people. Though perhaps I could pinpoint a theological error in a split second, I began to realize how often I am at a loss as to how to express love for others in a way that will edify them. But Edwards gave me hope in remembering that the Scriptural prayer "that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and all discernment" will one day be perfectly fulfilled, even as I work toward it today...

In heaven love will be expressed with perfect decency and wisdom. Many in this world that are sincere in their hearts, and have indeed a principle of true love to God and their neighbor, yet have not discretion to guide them in the manner and circumstances of expressing it. Their intentions, and so their speeches, are good, but often not suitably timed, nor discreetly ordered as to circumstances, but are attended with an indiscreetness that greatly obscures the loveliness of grace in the eyes of others. But in heaven the amiableness and excellence of their love shall not be obscured by any such means. There shall be no indecent or unwise or dissonant speeches or actions - no foolish and sentimental fondness - no needless officiousness - no low or sinful propensities of passion - and no such thing as affections clouding or deluding reason, or going before or against it. But wisdom and discretion shall be as perfect in the saints as love is, and every expression of their love shall be attended with the most amiable and perfect decency and discretion and wisdom.

...There shall be no wall of separation in heaven to keep the saints asunder, nor shall they be hindered from the full and complete enjoyment of each other's love by distance of habitation; for they shall all be together, as one family, in their heavenly Father's house. Nor shall there be any want of full acquaintance to hinder the greatest possible intimacy; and much less shall there be any misunderstanding between them, or misinterpreting things that are said or done by each other. There shall be no disunion through difference of temper, or manners, or circumstances, or from various opinions, or interests, or feelings, or alliances; but all shall be united in the same interests, and all alike allied to the same Savior, and all employed in the same business, serving and glorifying the same God.

- Jonathan Edwards, Heaven, A World of Love

"May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ."
- Romans 15:5, ESV

2009-12-02T21:06:00.006-05:00

"I am more and more convinced that the personality of Jesus Christ is the truth, and anything about Him that does not lead to Him is not the truth." - Oswald Chambers

"I am the way, and the truth and the life..."
John 14:6

2009-12-01T19:38:00.002-05:00

the feast of love

"Sincere and strong love is greatly gratified and delighted in the prosperity of the beloved object; and if the love be perfect, the greater the prosperity of the beloved is, the more is the lover pleased and delighted; for the prosperity of the beloved is, as it were, the food of love, and therefore the greater that prosperity, the more richly is love feasted."

- Jonathan Edwards

2009-11-30T19:35:00.003-05:00

Only in union with Christ, God's beloved Son, can we be recipients of the love of God.

"From God, love flows out toward all the inhabitants of heaven. It flows out, in the first place, necessarily and infinitely, toward his only-begotten Son; being poured forth, without mixture, as to an object that is infinite, and so fully adequate to all the fullness of a love that is infinite."

- Jonathan Edwards

2009-11-28T15:25:00.004-05:00

Autumn Loveliness

I finally figured out how to re-size some of my photos to fit a 1280x800 laptop screen for desktop wallpaper. Here are four of my recent fall shots.

2009-11-26T19:45:00.006-05:00

William Cowper and...Homeschooling?

Indeed!

I love William Cowper's poems, and support home-schooling but did not discover till recently that Cowper wrote a lengthy poem on The Institution of Schools. As I read, I was amazed at his insights on a subject that I did not think was discussed back then. Here a few excerpts from Cowper's"Tirocinium"

William Sweerts "Portrait of a Boy"

"Would you your son should be a sot or dunce,
Lascivious, headstrong, or all these at once;
That in good time the stripling’s finish’d taste
For loose expense and fashionable waste
Should prove your ruin, and his own at last;
Train him in public with a mob of boys,
Childish in mischief only and in noise,
...
Such youths of spirit, and that spirit too,
Ye nurseries of our boys, we owe to you:
Though from ourselves the mischief more proceeds,
For public schools ‘tis public folly feeds.
The slaves of custom and establish’d mode,
With packhorse constancy we keep the road,
Crooked or straight, through quags or thorny dells,
True to the jingling of our leader’s bells.
To follow foolish precedents, and wink
With both our eyes, is easier than to think;
And such an age as ours balks no expense,
Except of caution and of common sense;
Else sure notorious fact, and proof so plain,
Would turn our steps into a wiser train.

Oh! ‘tis a sight to be with joy perused,
By all whom sentiment has not abused;…
...A father blest with an ingenuous son,
Father, and friend, and tutor, all in one.

He will not blush, that has a father’s heart,
To take in childish plays a childish part;
But bends his sturdy back to any toy
That youth takes pleasure in, to please his boy:
Then why resign into a stranger’s hand
A task as much within your own command,
That God and nature, and your interest too,
Seem with one voice to delegate to you?
Why hire a lodging in a house unknown
For one whose tenderest thoughts all hover round your own?

The ostrich, silliest of the feather’d kind,
And form’d of God without a parent’s mind,
Commits her eggs, incautious, to the dust,
Forgetful that the foot may crush the trust;
And, while on public nurseries they rely,
Not knowing, and too oft not caring, why,
Irrational in what they thus prefer,
No few, that would seem wise, resemble her.

Now look on him, whose very voice in tone
Just echoes thine, whose features are thine own,
And stroke his polish’d cheek of purest red,
And lay thine hand upon his flaxen head,
And say, My boy, the unwelcome hour is come,
When thou, transplanted from thy genial home,
Must find a colder soil and bleaker air,
And trust for safety to a stranger’s care;
What character, what turn thou wilt assume
From constant converse with I know not whom;
Who there will court thy friendship, with what views,
And, artless as thou art, whom thou wilt choose;
Though much depends on what thy choice shall be,
Is all chance-medley, and unknown to me.
Though wouldst not, deaf to Nature’s tenderest plea,
Turn him adrift upon a rolling sea,
Nor say, Go thither, conscious that there lay
A brood of asps, or quicksands in his way;
Then, only govern’d by the self-same rule
Of natural pity, send him not to school.
No—guard him better. Is he not thine own,
Thyself in miniature, thy flesh, thy bone?

Fascinating, isn't it? The poem in its entirety can be read here.

2009-11-23T20:12:00.003-05:00

Democracy, Authority, and Education

from my Learning Theory class post

Democracy is popular in America. It runs the nation. John Dewey, whose progressive learning theories have been largely influential on the nation's current learning practices, was a proponent of democracy. He wanted to see democracy not only in the nation, but in the public classroom, beginning at the elementary level. This would mean that, as in the nation, so in the classroom - students should have a say in their education, so that educators teach them what they are most inclined to learn, or in the way that they are most inclined to learn within the necessary bounds of the curriculum. This, it was proposed, will make the students more engaged in their education, and prevent children from becoming passive sum-scribbling serfs under the despotic rule of a loveless lecturer. Best of all, it would equip children to grow up to be good citizens of a democracy, having been immersed in its practices from their earliest years.

Now, in a fallen world, where all people are sinful and fallible, democracy has proven to be one of the best political set-ups for a nation. This is mainly because an authoritarian government has often proven deadly to both the ruler and the ruled. Absolute power absolutely corrupts the already innately corrupt. Therefore, a nation may choose to counter the particularly concentrated corruptions of the one by parceling out the power into the hands of the many. This constitutes a democracy - the governors of a nation receiving their just power from the consent of the many who are governed. If democracy has proven the best way to politically organize a nation, why not the school? Why not have teachers receiving their just power of instruction from the consent of the educated? This is in measure what Dewey was asking for.

Here the answer to the question becomes a question of authority. Putting aside secondary and higher education, in which this proposition may have credibility, I want to focus the question on the education of the young, which happens to be my particular area of study, and answer it from the Scriptures. According to the Scriptures, the environment in which children are to be nurtured and trained is not one of democracy but of authority. The one basic command given to children in the Scriptures is "obey your parents". Christian parents and teachers must therefore see this mandate as the first and most important thing for a child to learn. This does not constitute a democracy. Of course, in a democracy, citizens must submit themselves to its leaders and its rules, and obedience to parents will prepare children to be cooperative citizens. But Christian parents are not to train their children merely for good citizenship of an earthly nation. They are to bring up their children in the nurture and admonition of "the Lord". Here is a term of authority: "the Lord"! Christian parents are ultimately training their children to live under the rulership of the Lord Jesus Christ - to submissively do what he says and learn to love it. And it starts by learning to obey their parents, because Christ has commanded it. Sometimes this will mean doing things in which they do not see a point, or to which they are not innately inclined. But we are not cultivating the instincts of evolving homo sapiens, we are training young men and women in the knowledge of their Creator. This is the point of education. A good teacher will, of course, seek the good of their student by trying to make the learning enjoyable for them, even as a good governor seeks the good of the citizens. But when learning is not enjoyable - as it must necessarily sometimes be - the parents' authority wins the day, and the child must obey. When children obey their parents, they will be blessed. It's a promise. And it will not fail, even when democracies have crumbled.

2009-11-18T09:30:00.002-05:00

On technical terms...

Technical terms really can get troublesome at times, can't they? And they don't do you any good unless you know what they mean. Once you know what they mean, then they can become quite useful, but only then. I think an important skill in teaching is the skill of being able to define previously boring and obscure technical terms in a way that people can really understand and remember. The technical term then becomes a handy little bag in which they can condense and carry that understanding. Of course, every time someone accumulates lots of handy little bags, they can start waving them around as if everyone knows what is in them. Fellow bag-carriers might appreciate it, but everyone else needs the bags unpacked. I guess higher education sometimes consists of a teacher handing students one bag after another and saying "Unpack that one and tell me what's in it". Then we can unpack the bags for others.

2009-11-14T19:40:00.002-05:00

A Precious Lesson

There is nothing that requires such gentle handling as an illusion, if one wishes to dispel it. If anything prompts the prospective captive to set his will in opposition, all is lost. And this is what a direct attack achieves, and it implies moreover the presumption of requiring a man to make to another person, or in his presence, an admission which he can make most profitably to himself privately. This is what is achieved by the indirect method which, loving and serving the truth, arranges everything dialectically for the prospective captive, and then shyly withdraws (for love is always shy), so as not to witness the admission which he makes to himself alone before God--that he has lived hitherto in an illusion.

If real success is to attend the effort to bring a man to a definite position, one must first of all take pains to find him where he is and begin there. This is the secret to the art of helping others. Anyone who has not mastered this is himself deluded when he proposes to help others. In order to help another effectively I must understand more than he--yet first of all surely I must understand what he understands. If I do not know that, then my greater understanding will be of no help to him. If, however, I am disposed to plume myself on my greater understanding, it is because I am vain or proud, so that at bottom, instead of benefiting him, I want to be admired. But all true effort to help begins with self-humiliation: the helper must first humble himself under him he would help, and therewith must understand that to help others does not mean to be sovereign, but to be a servant, that to help does not mean to be ambitious but to be patient, that to help means to endure for the time being the imputation that one is in the wrong and does not know what the other understands.

--S. Kierkegaard

2009-11-06T16:22:00.002-05:00

a random thought on the art of writing...

The skillful commentative writer takes his pen like a scalpel to cut through the hardened skin of societal norms and expose the beastly cancer beneath.

2009-11-05T21:35:00.001-05:00

"The essence of the prosperity gospel is that it leaves people unchanged in their appetites and then provides 'Jesus!' to meet them....Better business, better marriage, better kids - better everything I wanted before. Then you don't know Him. He did not come to serve your unregenerate appetites; He came to give you new appetites. That's the meaning of being born again."

- John Piper on John 6

2009-10-20T20:32:00.003-05:00

The present ministry of Jesus

"We speak of the perseverance of the saints as if that were some innate quality which is placed in us. But that is not the case. The perseverance of the saints means that for every second of your life, Jesus will hold you and and Jesus will keep you and Jesus will guard you. We will persevere because we are being preserved." - Ted Donnelly

"You hold me by my right hand, you guide me with your counsel and afterward you will receive me into glory." - Psalm 73

"The psalmist doesn't say 'I hold you'. The psalmist says, 'You hold me'." - Ted Donnelly

2009-10-14T06:24:00.002-05:00

"...because lawlessness will be increased, the love of many will grow cold." - Matt. 24.12

But oh Lord, not mine, please, please, not mine!

"If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love..." - John 15.10

Scripture from ESV

2009-10-06T16:24:00.001-05:00

"Waking on a Fall Morning"

Morning
Soft gray light steals
Through cold and gentle curtains and
My bundled sleep
Swaddling, grave-clothes, bedclothes wrapped
Me now unwrapped to
Face the shiv’ry morning
But heat now greets
Me rising warm
With roasty air that boasts of toast
And coffee
And hearts that should be
Thankful

- AFC - 10-6-09

2009-09-22T20:59:00.003-05:00

Fall

O Summer, do you leave us and so soon?
And take from us your pleasant, sunny days
That linger into twilight, after noon
Has filled earth’s treasure with its warming rays?

The brilliant skies of autumn utter cries
Of triumph’s hope, in Earth’s futility,
To which it yearly clearly testifies,
As blazing leaves fall from each conquered tree.

No sunny prospects now before us lie,
As summer fades, and Winters’ trumpet blows
Through frosty windowsill and wild goose cry,
And dark skies bode the coming of the snows.

What light shall cheer the winter-darkened panes
Of windows once illu’med by evening rays
Of summer sun, or dewed by spring’s sweet rains -
Shall gladness shrink as shorter grow the days?

Oh no, my soul has treasures deep and true
That spreads their mighty gladness through the year
And cheer my poor heart all the winter through
And trump decays and triumph over fear.

My soul has Jesus, maker of the sun
Whose love is warmer than the summer’s rays
Who’s loved by him need never feel alone
Nor desolate the soul that sings His praise.

Let love cheer all the windows of our home
And of our souls when cold and darkness fall
Around, outside - inside they need not come.
Our hearts have Christ, our light, our joy, our all.

And when the spring returns with flowers bright
And life awakes, and birds sing high and clear
We’ll see foretold the setting all things right
That’s echoed in the turning of the year.

- AFC, 9-22-2009

2009-09-14T08:37:00.004-05:00

In humble vale...

In humble vale, ‘tween mountains high

I saw a shepherd passing by

A flock of sheep behind him went

With steady feet and still intent

I saw one lamb who came away

From them and to the shepherd say

“My Shepherd it is pleasant here

But shall we always linger here?

I see above us mountains high

And wild and green…sometimes I sigh

To go up to the dazzling heights

Which beckon me with new delights.

The Shepherd looked with mercy sweet

Upon His eager little sheep

And answering with tender voice

Told it to wait upon His choice:

“Be content my sheep to go

Where the quiet waters flow

Through the flat and grassy plain

Fed by common sun and rain.

Every place where you are led

I will see that you are fed.

Is it not enough for you,

That I choose what’s best for you?

Someday to those mountains steep

I will lead you, little sheep

And the grassy plains behind

May come fondly to your mind

While above the dazzling heights

Beckon you with new delights

You will find a humbled will

Taught to trust me and be still

Will sustain you on the steep

And rugged pathways, little sheep.

Wait on me, your Shepherd true

I promise to do good to you.”

This eager little lamb is me

This wise and patient Shepherd He

Who once did give Himself to save

Me, wandr’ing toward a rocky grave

He has become my faithful Guide

Who calls me to walk by His side.

And I will follow patiently,

For He will do what’s best for me.

2009-09-02T07:27:00.002-05:00

Tied-up Joys

I am always being tempted to tie my joys to changing circumstances instead of to my unchanging God.
In happy times I am tempted to wrap my heart around the present joys - nervously, knowing that they may be snatched away at any time.
In hard times, I often find my joys nearly drowned, as if they had been tied to a rock, only to have the rock thrown into a dark and turbulent ocean.
What then am I to do? I must continually be aiming, in every situation, with the help of God, to wrap up all my joys in Christ, and in His love and His will - to tie them fast to Him and keep them there, come what may. He does not change; He lives forever, no longer able to be touched by the power of death. Joys tied here cannot be moved, and here I find the secret of contentment

2009-08-28T20:00:00.005-05:00

Ever-Increasing Cause for Thankfulness

How much cause do I have to be thankful? The mercy which I have to anticipate from the hand of my God will never grow less, and yet today I have experienced a day's portion of mercies more than what I could say yesterday I had thus far received. Thus my debt to divine mercy will forever increase, thus I ought to be increasingly thankful with each passing day to Him whose lovingkindness is everlasting.

"And be thankful."
- Colossians 3.15, ESV

2009-08-19T13:02:00.004-05:00

"Yet all with wings..."

"My God, I thank Thee, who hast made
The earth so bright,
So full of splendor and of joy,
Beauty and light;
So many glorious things are here,
Noble and right.

I thank Thee, too, that Thou hast made
Joy to abound;
So many gentle thoughts and deeds
Circling us round,
That in the darkest spot of earth
Some love is found.

I thank Thee more that all our joy
Is touched with pain,
That shadows fall on brightest hours,
That thorns remain;
So that earth’s bliss may be our guide,
And not our chain.

For thou who knowest, Lord, how soon
Our weak heart clings,
Hast given us joys, tender and true,
Yet all with wings;
So that we see gleaming on high
Diviner things.

I thank Thee, Lord, that Thou hast kept
The best in store;
We have enough, yet not too much
To long for more:
A yearning for a deeper peace
Not known before.

I thank Thee, Lord, that here our souls
Though amply blessed,
Can never find, although they seek
A perfect rest;
Nor ever shall, until they lean
On Jesus’ breast."

- Adelaide Procter, 1858

2009-08-14T10:14:00.005-05:00

The Role of Good Works in the Life of Believers

“When the point considered is the constitution and foundation of salvation, believers, without paying any respect to works, direct their eyes to the goodness of God alone….Conscience being thus founded, built up, and established is farther established by the consideration of works, inasmuch as they are proofs of God dwelling and reigning in us. …Wherefore, when we exclude confidence in works, we merely mean that the Christian mind must not turn back to the merit of works as an aid to salvation, but must dwell entirely on the free promise of justification. But we forbid no believer to confirm and support this faith by the signs of the divine favor towards him.…The fruits of their calling convince them that the Lord has admitted them to a place among his children….As the fruits of regeneration furnish them with a proof of the Holy Spirit dwelling in them, experiencing God to be a Father in a matter of so much moment, they are strengthened in no slight degree to wait for his assistance in all their necessities. Even this they could not do, had they not previously perceived that the goodness of God is sealed to them by nothing but the certainty of the promise.”

- John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion. III.XIV.18-19

2009-08-12T14:41:00.002-05:00

the most important question

“The question must be, How shall we answer the heavenly Judge when he calls us to account? Let us contemplate that Judge, not as our own unaided intellect conceives of him, but as he is portrayed to us in Scripture…with a brightness which obscures the stars, a strength which melts the mountains, an anger which shakes the earth, a wisdom which takes the wise in their own craftiness, a purity before which all things become impure, a righteousness to which not even angels are equal (so far is it from making the guilty innocent), a vengeance which once kindled burns to the lowest hell (Exod. 34:7; Nahum 1:3; Deut. 32:22).”

"Thus Augustine says, “Of all pious men groaning under this burden of corruptible flesh, and the infirmities of this life, the only hope is, that we have one Mediator Jesus Christ the righteous, and that he intercedes for our sins.”

- John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion, III.XII.1,3

2009-08-07T09:10:00.005-05:00

oh zucchini...

With the recent out-poured donations of many zucchini into our home, and with a loaf of zucchini bread in the fridge, and more of the green walruses on the counter, I was trying to think of something else to put them into that would be actually good and not look to much like zucchini. I ended up with this highly tweaked version of a quiche recipe from Allrecipes.com. It's really easy because all the work is done in a blender or food processor before baking.

Crustless Zucchini Quiche

3 small (or 1 large) zucchini, coarsely chopped
5 or 6 eggs
1/4 cup olive oil
1/3-1/2 cup crumbled goat cheese
1 tsp onion powder
1/2 teaspoon dried oregano
1/2 teaspoon dried basil
1 teaspoon salt
1 pinch ground black pepper
3/4 cup flour (I used a combination of rice and oat flour)
1 teaspoon baking powder
Additional goat cheese, chopped fresh chives or parsley

Preheat an oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease a quiche dish or a 9-inch pie pan, and set aside.
Place the zucchini, eggs, olive oil, goat cheese, and seasonings into the bowl of a blender or food processor, and process for about 1 minute, until all the ingredients are finely chopped and blended. (I found it necessary to add the zucchini chunks gradually in order to fit the bowl) Add the flour and baking powder, and process 1 more minute, scraping the side of the bowl if necessary.
Scrape the mixture into the prepared quiche dish, and bake for 1 hour, or until set. The quiche is done when a knife inserted into the center comes out clean. Sprinkle with additional crumbled cheese and chopped fresh chives or parsley. Allow to cool 5-10 minutes before serving.
(If there are any, leftover slices of quiche are good cold.)

2009-08-07T09:04:00.002-05:00

"...a hard heart is no infallible protection against a soft head"

In his Abolition of Man, C.S. Lewis points out the danger of some educators who seek to do away with all that is emotional and heartfelt in education...

“I think Gaius and Titius may have honestly misunderstood the pressing educational need of the moment. They see the world around them swayed by emotional propaganda—they have learned from tradition that youth is sentimental—and they conclude that the best thing they can do is to fortify the minds of young people against emotion.

My own experience as a teacher tells an opposite tale. For every one pupil who needs to be guarded from a weak excess of sensibility there are three who need to be awakened from the slumber of cold vulgarity. The task of the modern educator is not to cut down jungles but to irrigate deserts.

The right defence against false sentiments is to inculcate just sentiments. By starving the sensibility of our pupils we only make them easier prey to the propagandist when he comes. For famished nature will be avenged and a hard heart is no infallible protection against a soft head.”

–C. S. Lewis, The Abolition of Man

2009-08-06T10:05:00.005-05:00

Yesterday I was reading a sweet little book, Diary and Selection of Hymns of Augustus Toplady, and was impressed by a note in his journal about God's providence. He was speaking of how God had been guiding him to begin ministering in a town called Broad-Hembury...

"There is one thing that pleases me much, about Broad-Hembury, and makes me hope for a blessing on the event, viz. that it was not, from first to last, of my own seeking: and every door, without any application of mine, has hitherto flown open, and all seems to point that way. As a good man somewhere says, "A believer never yet carved for himself, but he cut his own fingers."— The all-wise God, whose never failing providence ordereth every event, usually makes what we set our hearts upon unsatisfactory; and sweetens what we feared: bringing real evil, out of seeming good: and real good, out of seeming evil: to show us what short-sighted creatures we are, and to teach us to live by faith upon his blessed self."

Broadhembury

2009-08-03T06:00:00.004-05:00

"You can readily speak of yourselves, and do often, either directly or obliquely, commend yourselves, which reveals your great self-love. How little do you commend your Lord and Master and extol His excellencies with your lips! And does not this evidence that you have but little love to Him in your hearts?"
- Thomas Vincent, The True Christian's Love

How is it that I am so eager to commend and speak of myself when my self has deceived me, cheated me, led me astray, stolen my peace, confused and betrayed me, corrupted my joys, tainted all my good deeds, distracted me and clouded my heart with anxious fears? (Surely it has proven itself worthy of all the devotion I give it!) When I consider how I esteem myself, I can attribute it to nothing but the most contemptible blindness and folly.

And Jesus Christ, of whom I speak so little, has given me every pleasant thing that I enjoy and every good and necessary provision; He has faithfully stayed with me as He promised to do always, despite the countless ways in which I try His patience with my unbelief, ingratitude and stubborn pride; He forgives all my sins because He has paid for them with His own blood; He softens my heart with his grace so that I repent of my sins, love my neighbor and brother, help those in need, rejoice in God, sing, pray and work unto Him - all of which I could not do in myself; He answers my prayers, restores my health and protects my life; He guides the path of my life into good ways when I would have no idea where to go, and does the same for all His own. Should I not think and speak of Him and for Him rather than myself? I often feel, wrongly, that to speak of Jesus is the task of the preacher and my friends would rather hear me speak of myself. But Jesus is mine, my own God, my Friend, Helper and Savior. He is my only honor, and without Him I would have nothing in which to glory, but only shame. He is my all and my very life, so that if someone did not wish to hear me speak of Him, I should consider them not to be my friend.

O that the Lord would set my crooked heart straight, that He would heal my heart's eyes of their distorted vision that I might see things as they are - Him as everything and myself as nothing, that He would restore my imbalanced affections so that all the weight of them may be set upon Him. And this He must do, for His name is Jesus and He saves His people from their sins.

2009-07-31T13:13:00.005-05:00

Calvin on our Life's Calling

I found some encouragement in Calvin's teaching on how Christians ought to view their lot in life. Knowing that God has called to be faithful with what He has given us, we can pursue that commanded faithfulness wholeheartedly without a discontented longing to be doing something else or a restless anxiety that we are not doing enough...

“The Lord enjoins every one of us, in all the actions of life, to have respect to our own calling. He knows the boiling restlessness of the human mind, the fickleness with which it is borne hither and thither, its eagerness to hold opposites at one time in its grasp, its ambition. Therefore, lest all things should be thrown into confusion by our folly and rashness, he has assigned distinct duties to each in the different modes of life. …Every man’s mode of life, therefore, is a kind of station assigned him by the Lord, that he may not be always driven about at random. So necessary is this distinction, that all our actions are thereby estimated in his sight, and often in a very different way from that in which human reason or philosophy would estimate them….In all our cares, toils, annoyances, and other burdens, it will be no small alleviation to know that all these are under the superintendence of God. The magistrate will more willingly perform his office, and the father of a family confine himself to his proper sphere. Every one in his particular mode of life will, without repining, suffer its inconveniences, cares, uneasiness, and anxiety, persuaded that God has laid on the burden. This, too, will afford admirable consolation, that in following your proper calling, no work will be so mean and sordid as not to have a splendour and value in the eye of God.” (35)

2009-07-31T10:19:00.002-05:00

Super-Hearty Wheat-free Man-size Lunchbox Cookies

One of my favorite activities these days is making cookies for my brother - who has both food-sensitivities to gluten and sugar, and the appetite of a large war-horse - to pack in his lunches. He seems to have enjoyed all of my experiments thus far... Here is one example

Mix together in large bowl:
1 cup butter, softened
1/4 cup flax-meal
1/3 cup toasted coconut
(the flax and coconut help to replace some of the lost bulk of the sugar asked for in the original recipe)
1 T stevia
1 T molasses (gives a brown sugar taste, but less than 1g sugar per serving)
3 eggs
1/2 cup chopped walnuts
(The original recipe asked for a cup of dried apricots, chopped, which are quite good, if fruit is not a problem.)

Combine in second bowl :
3 cups rolled oats or quick oats
1 cup oat flour
1/2 cup rice flour
1/2 cup buckwheat, sorghum or teff flour
2 tsp. xantham gum (to make cookies less crumbly)
1 Tbsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. nutmeg
1/2 tsp. cloves
1/2 tsp. salt
1 tsp. baking soda

Preheat oven to 375. Add dry ingredients to wet ingredients and mix thoroughly. Shape 1/4-1/3-cup-size hunks of dough into cookies about 3/4" thick and place on greased cookie-sheets. Bake at 375 for about 15 minutes, or till lightly browned on the bottom and set in the middle. Remove and cool. Makes about 10 cookies.
For lunch-box packing convenience, I put each cookie in a small sandwich bag with a twist-tie and then put all the bagged cookies in a big ziploc bag and stick them in the freezer.

2009-07-30T10:10:00.005-05:00

Resting Satisfied With Our Own Good

“If we obey God only because it is necessary, provided we can escape, we shall cease to obey him. But what Scripture calls us to consider in the will of God is very different, namely, first justice and equity, and then a regard to our own salvation. Hence Christian exhortations to patience are of this nature: Whether poverty, or exile, or imprisonment, or contumely, or disease, or bereavement, or any such evil affects us, we must think that none of them happens except by the will and providence of God; moreover, that every thing he does is in the most perfect order. …If the equity of God is undoubtedly displayed in affliction, we cannot murmur or struggle against them without iniquity. We no longer hear the frigid cant, Yield, because it is necessary; but a living and energetic precept, Obey, because it is unlawful to resist; bear patiently, because impatience is rebellion against the justice of God. Then as that only seems to us attractive which we perceive to be for our own safety and advantage, here also our heavenly Father consoles us, by the assurance, that in the very cross with which he afflicts us he provides for our salvation. …In bearing them patiently we are not submitting to necessity but resting satisfied with our own good. The effect of these thoughts is, that to whatever extent our minds are contracted by the bitterness which we naturally feel under the cross, to the same extent will they be expanded with spiritual joy. Hence arises thanksgiving, which cannot exist unless joy be felt.” (23)

John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion, II.VIII.11

"In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls."

- 1 Peter 1.6-8, ESV

2009-07-27T16:25:00.004-05:00

This, Too, is His

While reading on the patio, I noticed this tiny and beautiful plant clinging to the mossy bricks and was impressed with the thought that this, like all things, was "created by Him and for Him" (Col. 1)

2009-07-25T12:02:00.003-05:00

On Not Being a Wasteful Servant

Today I was reflecting on my attitude in the workplace. Since I am aware that I am being paid to do the work that is assigned to me, I am diligent to be busy and not be guilty of wasting or stealing the salary which I am being paid to do that work. Knowing what is expected of me, my attitude toward my supervisor is: "I am here to work. What would you have me do?"

But I realized that this sense of purpose and stewardship should not be left in the workplace. For my Creator gives me all that I have for the purpose of my serving Him with gladness, obeying His commands and magnifying His Name on the earth. If I should take the life, breath, strength, health, possessions and knowledge that He has given me, and should use them for my own selfish ends, I am guilty of being a wasteful, pilfering servant!

In reflecting on this, I am brought to see how I sin every day in not giving my Master his rightful due. Thus I am brought to see my need of Christ, the One and Only Faithful Servant who has perfectly fulfilled the obligations of man to God, and not only for Himself, but for me, paid the enormous debt I owe to God for my wasteful stewardship. And now this Faithful Servant walks beside me, to help me to be a faithful servant like Him. Oh the gospel is good for everything! Let me now, knowing that my debts were paid so dearly, be altogether unwilling to waste a minute of the life God has given and restored to me. It is foolish and evil use what is God's for myself. He is such a kind and gracious Master, and deserves more than all I could devote to Him.

2009-07-23T19:52:00.006-05:00

Slow but Steady Wins the Race

Reading John Calvin on the Christian's pursuit of godliness in this present life, I was encouraged by his realistic view: sometimes we are only "crawling on the ground" towards godliness, but we must still keep our eyes on that goal. God has predestined and called us to be conformed to Jesus image, He will bring us there. He will help us to crawl, and one day He will complete the work altogether when we stand in His presence....

~ ~ ~

“The spiritual commencement of a good life is when the internal affections are sincerely devoted to God, in the cultivation of holiness and justice. But seeing that, in this earthly prison of the body, no man is supplied with strength sufficient to hasten in his course with due alacrity, while the greater number are so oppressed with weakness,that hesitating, and halting, and even crawling on the ground, they make little progress, let every one of us go as far as his humble ability enables him,and prosecute the journey once begun. No one will travel so badly as not daily to make some degree of progress. This,therefore, let us never cease to do, that we may daily advance in the way of the Lord; and let us not despair because of theslender measure of success. How little soever the success may correspond with our wish,our labour is not lost when to-day is better than yesterday, provided with true singleness of mind we keep our aim, and aspire to the goal, not speaking flattering things to ourselves, nor indulging our vices, but making it our constant endeavour to become better, until we attain to goodness itself. If during the whole course of our life we seek and follow, we shall at length attain it, when relieved from the infirmity of flesh we are admitted to full fellowship with God.” (5)

"But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn,
which shines brighter and brighter until full day."
- Proverbs 4.18, ESV

2009-07-21T18:12:00.005-05:00

My Lunch Recipes

While I was packing a lunch this evening, Mother stated that she thought I should keep a journal of all the lunches I make (!) This would be a rather large task, considering my many experimental and never-to-be-exactly-repeated concoctions. But since I spend quite a lot of time preparing my lunches sometimes, I thought I should try to record a few of my favorite recipes. I hope that making lunches for myself will make me better prepared to serve my family in food preparation.

One of my staples is tuna salad. (I have made it probably 20 different ways.) I often have it by alone, or sometimes on Ezekiel bread with canola mayo. Here are a few of my favorite inventions, notated in recipe form for the first time.

Garden Tuna Salad
In a pint-sized container, combine
- 1-2 T oil (I used combination of olive, sunflower, flax...whatever)
- 1 t red wine vinegar
- 1 T white vinegar
- dash of salt
- dash of hot pepper sauce (Tabasco)
- 2-3 chive 'leaves', finely chopped
- 2-3 sprigs of parsley, finely chopped
- 1 can of tuna, drained
- 1 small carrot grated

Mix thoroughly, cover tightly and refrigerate several hours. (i.e. the night before)

Italian Tuna (or Chicken!) Salad
In a pint-sized container, combine
- 1-2 T. olive oil
- 1 T. red wine vinegar
- 1 clove of fresh garlic, minced
- dash of Tabasco sauce
- 1/2 t. dried oregano
- 1/4 t. onion powder
- a pinch of dry basil, or a few leaves of fresh basil, minced
- 3-4 sprigs of fresh parsley, minced
- dash of black pepper
- 1 can of tuna or chicken, drained, or 6-8 oz. cooked, chopped salted chicken breast
- 1/4 cup diced red pepper, or diced fresh tomato (usually I put red pepper with tuna, tomato with chicken)
- sliced black olives (maybe?)

Mix thoroughly, cover tightly and refrigerate several hours.

Other ideas: I once made a tuna salad with dill that was very interesting. My brother likes his tuna salad with lots of mayo, grated carrot and chopped green olives (to each his own!) Chopped green pepper is a very nice addition to almost any combination, so are any fresh herbs. For extra protein, I've added canned, drained chickpeas, or white beans....It doesn't get boring very quickly! :o) The best part is that this stuff is hearty and nutritious, which gives you more energy to serve the Lord and His people. Happy lunch-making!

2009-07-20T19:24:00.003-05:00

...A song that helps to pull along my wandering heart to where it ought to be

O Lord, I would delight in Thee
And on Thy care depend,
To Thee in every trouble flee,
My best, my only Friend.

When all created streams are dried,
Thy fullness is the same;
May I with this be satisfied
And glory in Thy Name.

No good in creatures can be found
But may be found in Thee;
I must have all things and abound
While God is God to me.

O Lord, I cast my care on Thee,
I triumph and adore;
Henceforth my great concern shall be
To love and please Thee more.

- John Ryland, 1777

2009-07-09T07:13:00.003-05:00

Calvin on Repentance

"Thus it is written, that the Christ should suffer and on the third day rise from the dead, and that repentance and forgiveness of sins should be proclaimed in his name to all nations."

- Luke 26.46-47 ESV

~ ~ ~

“Repentance is preached in the name of Christ, when men learn, through the doctrines of the Gospel, that all their thoughts, affections, and pursuits, are corrupt and vicious; and that, therefore, if they would enter the kingdom of God they must be born again. Forgiveness of sins is preached when men are taught that Christ “is made unto us wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification, and redemption,” (1 Cor. 1:30), that on his account they are freely deemed righteous and innocent in the sight of God.”

- John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion III.III.19

2009-07-07T14:45:00.000-05:00

Mother was waxing eloquent on Sunday afternoon, and looking up from her reading, declared with a chuckle:

"To avoid confusion we use confessions, and we use catechisms to define our dogmas."

....Hebrew or poetic parallelism may be defined in turn, but I think Mother's defies classification.

2009-07-07T14:44:00.000-05:00

Self Smitten and Annihilated

I was quite struck by these words of John Calvin on the nature of true repentance:

"It is a most difficult and arduous achievement to renounce ourselves, and lay aside our natural disposition. For the flesh must not be thought to be destroyed unless every thing that we have of our own is abolished. But seeing that all the desires of the flesh are enmity against God (Rom. 8:7), the first step to the obedience of his law is the renouncement of our own nature.
...As we are naturally averse to God, unless self-denial precede, we shall never tend to that which is right. Hence we are so often enjoined to put off the old man, to renounce the world and the flesh, to forsake our lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of our mind. Moreover, the very name mortification reminds us how difficult it is to forget our former nature, because we hence infer that we cannot be trained to the fear of God, and learn the first principles of piety, unless we are violently smitten with the sword of the Spirit and annihilated, as if God were declaring, that to be ranked among his sons there must be a destruction of our ordinary nature."

- John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion, III.III.8

The Death of Athaliah - Gustave Dore

2009-07-07T14:38:00.001-05:00

"Vapors"

life flies, life flies,

oh how swift its vapors rise,

though they sparkle in the light,

or roll darkly in the night,

they will pass like hasty breath,

and how quickly comes our death.

but our Savior dauntless stands,

see, He holds our trembling hands,

sweet might grasps the trusting soul,

saying "your stone too will roll."

- Alyssa Colby - 4-6-2009

2009-07-07T14:37:00.002-05:00

"...be not afraid"

A storm? But He who rules all things,
From rolling dice to hearts of kings,
Still speaks; my frightened heart is stayed
By, "It is I; be not afraid."

AFC-6-22-09

2009-07-07T14:36:00.000-05:00

Advice to my deceitful heart concerning its prayers...

Do not presume to counsel the One who has all knowledge. Though you plead your case before Him, do not consider it His wisdom to precisely comply with you, nor count your desires more sovereign than His. Is He not God? Does He not do as he pleases in the heavens and on the earth?
And yet, He has told you to pray - as a means for accomplishing His will....did you begin to think there was any other purpose for prayer?

Let not your prayers be the cries of a revolutionary in the streets, or the whisperings of a counselor sidling behind the throne, but the requests of a loyal subject bowing before the King, who delights in nothing so much as in seeing the will of the King be done.

2009-07-07T14:34:00.002-05:00

“your Father in heaven…makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.”
- Matthew 5:45

“God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance”
- Romans 2:4

Sun bright and sweet casts widening smiles
Across the earth’s awakening face
And sparks soft grass with glowing life
And all is green and all is grace.

In still-bare treetops blithe birds sing
Bared people walk with happy eyes
In sun and warmth, the strength of spring
For them, they know not otherwise.

Each heart leaps forth to grasp the boon
Of nature’s smiles, plans pleasant ways
To revel in the vivid gift
Of soft blue skies and sunny days

Men who their Maker disregard
Yet think to own His smiles as theirs
For to the unjust He gives light
Although they take it unawares.

And saints whose eyes are winter-worn
Whose hearts grow sad o’er present sin
In spring hear resurrection’s voice
And hope their battles soon to win.

In spring, few weary, warring souls
Are loathe to lay their armor off
For heaven’s rays seem bright on earth
Sin old, a thing at which we’d scoff.

But though the resurrection’s call
Rings glad in warm breeze and bird’s cry
These give but hope, not solid change
Saints’ wars end not until they die.

Though heav’n seems here, it’s yet to come
Spring’s not war’s lull, but kind supply
Of sweet refreshment in the fray
That girds us with peculiar joy.

God’s mercies to men good and bad
Are meant to humble all their pride
Spring shows His grace and patience great
Toward sinful men who Him despise.

Soul, see God’s kindness in the spring
As grace to all unworthy men
Remembering that a greater grace
That spring foresees to you is giv’n.

-AFC, April 17, 2009

2009-07-07T13:07:00.006-05:00

Prayer II - All My Want

Grant, oh Thou my Lord

That when all my wants are supplied

And petitions answered

And desires fulfilled

That I may not cease to pray

Or neglect to seek Thy presence

Or lose care to draw near Thee

That I may not grow full and forget Thee

But continue to cry out to Thee

Not for temporal wants

Or earthly desires

Or anything outside Thyself that Thou wouldst give me

But for Thyself

That I may see and know more of Thee

That I may walk more closely with Thee

And be holy as Thou art holy.

What greater thing, my Lord, can Thy grace give me -

What fuller overflow of fullness canst Thou pour out

Upon my soul

Than Thy own fullness, sweetness, goodness

Might and mercy?

Oh pillar of cloud and flame that leads me day and night

Thou art the rock that goeth with me, quenching thirst

And manna, heaven-sent to feed my soul

Thy mighty, saving joy doth flow like milk and honey

Thy power doth conquer all my foes.

Oh Christ, who ever meets my need,

In every wilderness

And in green valleys,

When I am brought to feel no wants,

Grant me never to forget that Thou Thyself art all to me.

2009-06-27T08:23:00.005-05:00

Lord, blind my eyes to earthly riches

by the brightness of the coming reward!

"He considered the reproach of Christ greater wealth than the treasures of Egypt, for he was looking to the reward."

- Hebrews 11:26 ESV

2009-06-16T15:18:00.006-05:00

"contented with this:"

As in the world the prosperous and desirable condition of a people consists partly in the abundance of temporal good and domestic peace, and partly in the strong protection which gives security against external violence; so Christ also enriches his people with all things necessary to the eternal salvation of their souls and fortifies them with courage to stand unassailable by all the attacks of spiritual foes. Whence we infer, that he reigns more for us than for himself, and that both within us and without us....
...We can patiently live at present under toil, hunger, cold, contempt, disgrace, and other annoyances; contented with this, that our King will never abandon us, but will supply our necessities until our warfare is ended, and we are called to triumph...Since then he arms and equips us by his power, adorns us with splendour and magnificence, enriches us with wealth, we here find most abundant cause of glorying, and also are inspired with boldness, so that we can contend intrepidly with the devil, sin, and death. In fine, clothed with his righteousness, we can bravely surmount all the insults of the world: and as he replenishes us liberally with his gifts, so we can in our turn bring forth fruit unto his glory.
- John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion II.XV.4

"....the Lord is our King: he will save us."
- Isaiah 33.22, ESV

2009-06-08T10:02:00.004-05:00

His Face

Exodus 33:19-20 - Moses said, “Please show me your glory.” And he said, “I will make all my goodness pass before you and will proclaim before you my name ‘The Lord.’ And I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and will show mercy on whom I will show mercy. But,” he said, “you cannot see my face, for man shall not see me and live.”

Here is described the LORD the everlasting God. One day God became flesh.
Jesus.
He had a human face.
He came to humble himself and die. But how absolutely stunning the second text is in light of the first:

"And the high priest said to him[Jesus], “I adjure you by the living God, tell us if you are the Christ, the Son of God.” Jesus said to him, “You have said so. But I tell you, from now on you will see the Son of Man seated at the right hand of Power and coming on the clouds of heaven.” Then the high priest tore his robes and said, “He has uttered blasphemy. What further witnesses do we need? You have now heard his blasphemy. What is your judgment?” They answered, “He deserves death.” Then they spit in his face and struck him. And some slapped him, saying, “Prophesy to us, you Christ! Who is it that struck you?” - Matthew 26:63-67 ESV

This is incredible. Jesus who gave his face to spitting and striking is one and the same with the God of the Old Testament, whose face man could not behold and live. How great was the condescension in what Jesus the Son of God did to pay for our wrong-doing!

who though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him..." - Philippians 2:6-9 ESV

2009-05-25T10:38:00.006-05:00

Word pictures from a morning road trip...

...traveling to Michigan on a spring morning through sunshiny fog-sprinkled countryside....Daddy drives, Mother beside quizzes him on the Baptist catechism: "How many persons are there in the godhead?”…roadside dandelions have gone to seed and their fuzzy gray heads are sodden with morning dew.…countless blossoming lilac bushes adorn the yards of otherwise shoddy and humble dwellings, or merely stand by the road, resplendent with dew-heavy purple clusters…if I were driving I would have stopped to smell them…the otherwise green forests by the highway are now laced with the white-dotted branches of dogwood and wild apple trees…thick pearl-grey strands of mists float out of the valleys and curl over the mountain treetops to rise into the warming morning air....through wispy mist-veils, the soft spring sky shines blue, and as the mist departs, the mountainside's fresh-leaved trees emerge, their pale green foliage vivid against moisture-blackened trunks…some tiny fuchsia flowers on the forest floor flash by almost unseen, surprising smudges of pink against the brown earth….a small plowed field appears in a clearing on a shrubby slope, an oblong spot of bumpy bareness, long grass on every side leans over to encroach on the upturned clods of rich brown earth, thick-strewn with pale, stiff stubble of last year’s cornstalks...

where there are no pictures, words must be taught to suffice

2008-11-15T13:20:00.001-05:00

This post from Of First Importance blog is among the most heartening human words I've read:

“The stone will be rolled away for each of us”

“He came back.

After that brutal Friday, and that long, quiet Saturday, he came back.

And that one intake of breath in the tomb changes everything. It changes the very reason I drew breath today and the way I move about in this world because I believe he’s coming back again. The world has gone on for more than two millennia since Jesus’ feet tread the earth he made. What would they have said back then if someone had told them that some two thousand years later we’d still be waiting? They would’ve thought back to that long Saturday and said, ‘Two thousand years will seem like a breath to you when you finally lay your crown at his feet. We don’t even remember what we were doing on that Saturday, but let me tell you about Sunday morning. Now that was something.’

These many years of waiting will only be a sentence in the story. This long day will come to an end, and I believe it will end in glory, when we will shine like suns and stride the green hills with those we love and the One who loves. We will look with our new eyes and speak with our new tongues and turn to each other and say, ‘Do you remember the waiting? The long years, the bitter pain, the gnawing doubt, the relentless ache?’ And like Mary at the tomb, we will say: ‘I remember only the light, and the voice calling my name, and the overwhelming joy that the waiting was finally over.’

The stone will be rolled away for each of us. May we wait with faithful hearts.”

—Andrew Peterson, CD liner notes for Resurrection Letters Volume II (Centricity Music: 2008)

2008-10-27T14:40:00.001-05:00

"Gratitude Becomes Us"

I appreciated this statement from Charles Spurgeon's sermon entitled "Unconditional Surrender". It's what I needed to hear when I was a younger teenager who was rather ungrateful for the way God made me, the things I had and the family I was born into. (And what I need to hear now too!):

"Have you accepted your position in the scale of worldly wealth? Are you satisfied to be sickly, obscure or of small ability? Are God's appointments your contentments? Too many professors [professing believers] are quarreling with God that they are not other than they are. This is evil, and shows that pride is still in their hearts, for were they conscious of their own deserts they would know that anything short of hell is more than we deserve, and as long as we are not in the pit of torment gratitude becomes us."

If only I always realized how unworthy I am - I should never complain. To think of what manner of love the Father has given to us that we should be called children of God! He has given us so much! And the things we don't understand, the things that are hard, He has designed with love far greater than we can imagine. Ingratitude from the redeemed is unfitting. Gratitude becomes us.

"Submit yourselves therefore to God"
- James 4:7 ESV

2008-09-06T20:29:00.005-05:00

"Having given them grace, I will give them a crown."

After "consuming" quite a number of Charles Spurgeon's sermons, I finally decided to read his biography, and found this quote simply encouraging,

"I think how surprised some of God's people will be" he exclaims, "when they get to heaven. They will see the Master and He will give them a crown.
'Lord, what is this crown for?'
'That is because thou didst give a cup of cold water to one of my disciples.'
'What, a crown for a cup of cold water?'
'Yes,' says the Master, 'that is how I pay my servants. First I give them grace to give the cup of water, and then, having given them grace, I will give them a crown.''"

- from Charles Spurgeon - London's Most Popular Preacher by W.Y. Fullerton

2008-08-16T09:34:00.002-05:00

my friend Wei...

an interesting email I received from my Chinese friend who is trying to learn English. I thought it had a jumbled, poetic beauty

Learn Swimming

I heard the person say a word:

Speak mother tongue like nature of breathe, Speak English like labor-consuming of swimming."

I living a small town of P.A America. So I swimming in English of foreign language sea now. One year,I like floating and sinking in the sea. A float and a Sink.

I speak English with from different country and the American. I want to except tempo breathe out, I also want speak with the help of gestures.

I sometime like breast stroke, Sometime like butterfly stroke ect...

Do you say I like learn swimming?

Wei also taught me a Chinese phrase while we were working one day....

"gauw nnei yah!-hei-ii choh-gung yongk-yii"

We work together, it's easy! :-)